History
by HR always live on
Summary: A HR fic set at the end of 4:10. Ruth has been brought back to a time she thought she'd left behind. Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

**Set during the end of series 4 but with my own take on it from that point on. Just a small chapter to start with.**

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><p>Ruth felt disgusted with herself. She had managed to talk Angela Wells into surrendering herself but she couldn't believe the lie she had told to make it happen. She felt as if she was sinking back into her past, a past she had wanted so desperately to forget and the memories were coming back more powerful than ever. Back at her desk she shook her head and closed her eyes, trying to clear the images infiltrating her mind.<p>

"Ruth." She looked up and saw Harry watching her intently as she put her coat on. She couldn't read the look on his face, and if she was being honest with herself she didn't really want to either.

"I'm going home," Ruth said in a dead voice.

"Talk to me," he demanded gently.

"No."

"Ruth, we had to get her out of there, it was the only way."

"I'm going home," she repeated. She didn't want to talk about what had happened between her and Angela ever, but especially not to Harry. She didn't say anything further as she left the grid. As she stepped out into the London streets morning had dawned and she had never felt more tired in her life.

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><p>Harry watched her go feeling incredibly guilty. It had all seemed so simple an hour or so ago. He knew because of their history that Ruth had the best chance of getting Angela to give herself up. But he hadn't realised just how much this would hurt Ruth. There was clearly something in her past that she didn't want people to know and that conversation with Angela had brought it to the forefront of her mind. He could see it when he looked at her after she had emerged from that room. And he hated himself for making her look so broken. He needed to talk to her, but he also knew that she needed time. He battled with himself whether to go after her or not.<p>

"Harry, what are we going to do with Angela?" Adam asked from behind him, drawing his attention away from the pods through which Ruth had disappeared.

"We can't let her go," Harry replied, unsure if it was his emotion over Ruth speaking rather than practicality. Adam nodded and they continued to discuss what to do with their rogue agent, for the moment keeping his attention away from Ruth.


	2. Chapter 2

**Lots of enthusiasm for the last chapter so here is the next installment.**

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><p>It was eleven in the morning and Ruth was desperately trying to catch up on some sleep she'd missed from the night before but it was proving impossible. Her mind was filled with images of her past, her family when she'd been sixteen, and especially Peter, who he now couldn't push out of her mind. It was completely ridiculous because before today she had done her utmost to stop thinking about him, and usually it worked. Not today it would seem. She considered giving up on the notion of sleep when her doorbell rang. She got up and headed downstairs barely pausing to wrap her dressing gown around her.<p>

She wasn't all together surprised to see Harry there when the door swung open. Without saying a word she moved aside to let him in and he followed her into the kitchen where she switched the kettle on out of habit. "What do you want?" she asked in the same dead voice she'd used on the grid. The voice that started to break his heart before anything else was even said.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay," Harry said softly.

"No I'm not okay," she replied simply. She turned and her blue eyes caught hold of his and he hated what he saw there. Hurt and anger at the very forefront. Hurt and anger at her past which had been forcefully brought back into the present. And it was at least partly his fault. "What's happening to Angela?"

"Adam's dealing with her," Harry replied. "She'll probably escape prison but she'll go to a trauma recovery centre. A place that specialises in agents that... Well."

"Good," Ruth said. "I never want to see her again."

"Ruth, I'm not sorry that you had to talk her out of that room by lying. I didn't want her to blow us up," he said honestly. "I am sorry that you are so hurt by it, and by the memories you clearly have of your past. I don't want to hurt you, I'd never want that."

"You can't just read my file and think you know everything or that you'll know how a person will react when you ask them to do something like that," Ruth said. "You don't get the picture of a person from words written on paper Harry. You should know that."

"I do know that," he said. "I had never read your personal history before today. I don't read that for any or my employees because it feels like a huge breach of trust."

"It is." Ruth turned away from him and made the tea, handing him his just as he liked it. She sighed and took a sip of her tea. "Look, I know today you did what you had to do. I don't like it and it will probably take me a long time to forget it, but I'll survive. I always do."

Harry put his mug down on the kitchen table and walked a step or two closer to her. Her eyes were drawn to his like magnets and she couldn't look away even had she wanted to. "What happened? What did your stepbrother do?"

"I can't talk about it," she said, but her voice had lost that hard and emotionless quality finally which was a relief to him. "I might, but not yet."

"Okay," he said quietly, nodding once. He wouldn't push her, he could tell she needed time. Before he could think about it he raised his hand and gently caressed her cheek once. A small shadow of a smile broke out on her face which instantly made her look much less hurt and more happy.

"I actually have something for you," Ruth said drawing away. "I'll be back in a second," she said leaving the kitchen. Harry took a gulp of his tea and wrapped his fingers around the warm mug waiting for her to return. It didn't take long before she came back. She bit her lip as she put the stolen MD reader on the table.

"I really thought it was Zaf," Harry said looking at her.

"Sorry," she replied, still looking a little nervous.

"How did you get it past the security?" Harry asked curiously.

"You don't expect me to tell you do you?" Ruth said with a smile now that she knew he wasn't too mad.

"I'll take it back."

"Thank you," she said, ghost of her usual self coming back to light. "I'll be in tomorrow once I've gotten some sleep."

"Okay," Harry said. He put his half empty cup on the table and looked in her eyes once more before leaving her house. Ruth put their mugs in the sink, wondering why simply his presence made her feel calmer. By all rights she should still be mad at him but she couldn't quite manage it. She still felt hurt and slightly angry but the sharp edge had faded from it. This time when she went upstairs, she didn't have much trouble getting to sleep.

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><p><strong>More soon. Thanks to the early reviews so far!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Everyone is really eager to learn about Ruth's past so I really hope I don't let anyone down. I think it'll come out in the next chapter or two. For now, enjoy!**

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><p>Harry looked through his office window at the deserted grid. It was only five but because of the all-nighter he'd sent everyone home. However he wasn't following his own advice. He was rereading the scant detail on the period in Ruth's life she seemed so reluctant to remember, a time which hurt her so clearly. He wondered if it was betraying her trust, but then he thought he'd read it before overnight anyway.<p>

Ruth's father had died when she was eleven, he'd known that. Her mother remarried when she was fifteen, he'd known that too. It was the next part that was vague and confusing, but he'd ashamedly played on earlier that morning. Tensions were fraught between the family and her mothers marriage was not a happy one by all accounts.

Both Ruth and Peter her stepbrother had disappeared for a couple of days. Nothing further had ever been discovered about that time but as soon as Ruth came home, she packed her things and left her mothers house and stayed with her Aunt for the handful of months left before she went to university. From what Harry could tell there had been a massive argument, one which Ruth had lost and she had never seen eye to eye with her mother since. They had a fractious relationship even now, Ruth never mentioned her mother willingly. Harry had never enquired as to why. He'd never bothered to find out. But then he wondered if he'd have had the courage to face her possibly freezing him out because of a question which wasn't really any of his business in the first place.

He shut her file with a snap and put it back in the pile from where it came. He picked up the heavy stack, deciding to return them all to the registry before going home.

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><p>The next morning Ruth was already sitting at her desk working by the time Harry appeared. He walked over to her desk and was relieved to see her smiling, even if her eyes still hadn't regained their usual sparkle.<p>

"How are you?" he asked leaning over her desk.

"I'm okay," she said.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, not anymore," she said looking deeply into his eyes. "I didn't want to be blown up either."

"Well at least we have that in common," Harry said. She smiled as he walked to his office. She still felt tired and emotionally drained but after a good nights sleep she didn't feel so devastated any longer. She concentrated on the paperwork she had to do, pushing her personal life to the back of her mind for the time being.

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><p>At the end of the day Harry came out to see Ruth the last person on the grid as usual. He smiled and then covered her hand which was on the mouse. "Stop working," he said quietly. She looked at where their hands were touching and reluctantly pulled away. Harry sighed with disappointment when she turned back to her screen. But then he saw that she was just shutting the computer down and his disappointment vanished. "Let me take you home."<p>

She considered this for a moment, then nodded with acceptance. He felt his heart leap and he smiled as she got up and pulled her coat on. He wondered if it would be possible for them to ever bridge the gap between them. But he concentrated on how she brushed her hair off of her face absentmindedly and the way the light caught. Then he remembered that he was supposed to be taking her home. He gave his head a slight shake and then walked to the pods with Ruth at his side.


	4. Chapter 4

The car journey to her house had been mostly quiet, but not uncomfortably so. "You seem better," he said in a low voice. Ruth smiled but didn't respond with words as he pulled the car to a stop.

"Do you want to come in?" she asked quietly. "I've got coffee."

"Probably not a good idea," he said, although why he was saying no he had no idea in the world.

"Well, I have tea if you prefer," she added, a small attempt at humour.

"Okay then," he said after a briefs moments pause. She smiled as they got out of the car and went into her house.

"So tea or coffee?" she asked as she switched the kettle on and got two mugs out of habit.

"Tea please," he said, only slightly uncomfortable. Quickly she handed him his and sat down opposite him by the kitchen table, her fingers fidgeting a little with nervousness.

"You're looking at me differently," Ruth said quietly.

"I'm not doing it on purpose," Harry said, feeling it was pointless to deny it.

"You've been doing it all day," she said quietly. "You're wondering what happened back then aren't you?"

"I'm sorry," he said shaking his head. "Its none of my business at all but I can't help it. I'm not asking you to tell me Ruth, I'm not."

"The thing is, I've tried to bury it for so long," Ruth said shaking her head. "There's no details in my file is there?"

"No," he said. Then he got a suspicion. "Is that…?"

"My fault? Yes it is," she said with her usual smile. "I'm good at my job you know that. I "misplaced" that part of my history."

"Would I find it if I looked for it?" he asked.

"I doubt it," she said still smiling. "I'm very good, you know that."

"Yes you are," he said sincerely and they both knew that the warmth in his eyes wasn't only to do with her professional ability.

"I never liked my mother as much as my father," she said, her fingers wrapping around her warm mug. "I was devastated when he died and then my mother remarried. I hated her for that, even though it was unrealistic that she never would. But fifteen year old girls don't live in the real world," she said with just a small smile at the memory. It faded as her thoughts moved on.

"You don't have to tell me this," he said quietly.

"I'd rather you know then have that annoyingly curious look on your face for the next few weeks. Its irritating."

"I'll stop," he said his lip twitching. But she continued speaking anyway.

"Almost immediately after they married the arguments started. Peter and I hated it. We spent a lot of time in our rooms listening to the shouts reverberating through the floorboards. I liked Peter. He hated my mother as much as I did. He was a friend of mine and being a boring bookish girl I didn't have many friends. Anyway one day it was particularly bad and we ran away. We couldn't take the fighting anymore. Peter stole his dads credit card which in hindsight wasn't a very smart move. As soon as we used it they could track us down. But in the end I came home of my own accord anyway."

She paused and Harry wondered whether he should interrupt or let her go on, on her own. He was torn between the desire to hear what had happened and the feeling that he was really better off not knowing. She sighed before continuing and she was looking at the table not at him. "You don't have to…"

"Its not that," she said. "Its just been a long time since I've talked about it. It turned out that Peter didn't know the meaning of the word no. He… he raped me." After a beat or two of silence she looked up at Harry. "You don't look surprised."

"I'm horrified and I'm incredibly angry," he said slowly. "If he weren't already dead I'd kill him. But no, I'm not surprised. You are not the type of woman to run away from problems, I can't imagine you ever being that type of person. The fact that you left your childhood home as soon as you came back… Well, I guessed it might be something like this. I can't tell you how sorry I am for you."

"I don't need your pity," she said, looking into his eyes with a hardness there.

"Its not pity," he said honestly. "I can't believe firstly that this happened and secondly that you're telling me."

"I trust you," she said simply. "That wasn't the worst either. As soon as I could I went back home and told my mother. She called me a whore and didn't believe a word I said. I left. I didn't see eye to eye with my mother but I never imagined I wouldn't be believed over Peter. I just left. I couldn't believe how she treated me. Oddly I found that worse than what Peter did to me. Because I'd get over that with time, but the moment she didn't believe me, I had no relationship with my mother."

"Has she never apologised? She can't still think that you were lying."

"She's too proud," Ruth said. "I think to herself she knows now I was telling the truth. But she would never admit it to anyone. Because it means that she abandoned her daughter when I most needed her, and she will never admit that."

"I'm sorry I made you confront Angela," he said quietly. "I don't know how you could ever forgive me."

"She never knew," Ruth said. "She could sense there was something in the history between Peter and I but nothing more. Which is what made the lie work I guess."

"I'm sorry," he repeated. She looked at him with a tight smile. She reached across the table and held his hand tightly.

"You don't have to apologise," she said. "None of this is your fault."

"Thank you for confiding in me," he said honestly.

"I've never told anyone before. Not since I was sixteen."

"I'm glad you trust me," he said.

"I know I won't need to say this, but please don't mention this to…"

"Of course not," he said cutting her off. "I would never betray your confidences." Ruth felt the heaviness lie on the word your. As if she meant a lot more to him than anyone else. "I'm going to go home."

"Okay," she said with a genuine smile. "I'll see you tomorrow." He got up and then thought about it before moving. He kissed the top of her head, breathing in the floral scent of her hair before drawing away. He saw her still smiling and felt relieved.

"Goodnight Ruth," he said leaving the kitchen and closing the front door behind him. She quickly got up and locked it behind him. She wondered if he'd treat her differently at work from now on. But she couldn't worry about that now. Or not much anyway.

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><p><strong>I had always planned this to head in this direction but now its here I'm really nervous about how everyone is going to take it! Hope its okay. Thanks to all the wonderful reviewers so far. xxx<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for all of your encouragement. I wasn't really sure where to go from the end of the last chapter but I hope this will be enjoyed anyway. :-)**

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><p>Ruth had the oddest experience the next morning at work. Everything was normal but she felt such a lightness inside, as if a weight had been lifted from her. She had been carrying around that secret with her for so long that she hadn't realised it weighed her down throughout day to day life. The fact that she had confided in one person and actually put into words what had happened to her at sixteen almost set her free. What had happened to her had been horrible but telling Harry had been almost comforting. He hadn't recoiled from her and he hadn't been repulsed by her either. That meant a lot to her, more than she would ever be able to tell him.<p>

"You look happy," Jo said sitting next to her and switching her computer on.

"Do I?" she said absently. She smiled at the blonde but before she could think of anything more eloquent to say her desk phone rang. "Yes?" she said politely, picking it up.

"Ruth, do you have the report on the Sudanese terrorists? I'm being hounded by section F for the information."

"Er, yes its around here somewhere," Ruth said her eyes flicking over her desk, wondering where she'd put the printed sheets. "I'll bring it in your office when I find it. Or do you want me to fax it straight over?"

"No, I'll have a read through of it first. So when Phil Tyler calls me I'll at least have an idea about what he's talking about."

"Sure," Ruth said agreeing. "I'll find it soon." She put the phone down and started going through the files on her desk from the day before.

"What are you looking for?" Jo asked.

"The Sudanese terror plot from last week. I had a report here I know I did. I spent about three hours writing that."

"Its here," Jo said opening her drawer and handing the report over. "I'm the new girl," she explained. "I've gotta keep up." Ruth smiled and headed to Harry's office.

"I have it here for you," she said pulling the door closed as she put the slim file on his desk.

"Great, thanks," Harry said flicking through it briefly. Then he looked up at her. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said. She had spoken so quickly she knew he thought she was lying. "I am," she said in a calm voice. "Look, I didn't confide in you so you could treat me differently or worry about me or think I'm weak."

"You're not weak," he said in a soft voice. "I think you're one of the strongest people I've ever known."

She smiled at the sincerity in his voice and felt a blush rise on her cheeks. "Thank you," she said with a smile. "Anything else?"

"No, that's fine," he said opening the file and reading. She smiled and left his office for another day at work.

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><p>Ruth knocked on his office door once and then opened the door without waiting for a reply. "I'm going home, unless there's anything else you want me to do?"<p>

"No, go home," he said with a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye." She closed the door behind her and Harry watched intensely as she left the grid, the pods closing around her. He had realised two contradictory things today.

Firstly he had realised that he was completely in love with this wonderful woman. He had known he was attracted to her but he hadn't acted on it before because he didn't want to start a relationship with an employee. But now he knew that it went so much deeper than surface attraction. He was hopelessly in love with her.

The second thing he had realised was that he couldn't act upon his feelings for her. Because of her horrific experience she would think he was only after one thing and he simply couldn't do that to her. He sighed, thinking that is Peter Haig wasn't dead he soon would have been once he got his hands on Ruth's stepbrother. He would have killed him for doing that to her. And the fact that her mother didn't believe her… She must have felt so alone back then. How would it be possible that she would ever trust any man ever again? But then again she had told him that she did trust him last night. With that slightly cheerful thought he put his jacket on and headed home.

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><p><strong>Where to go from here?<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, a short one, but hopefully the content will make up for the length!**

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><p>A few nights later Ruth was staring over the skyline of London. She loved this city, especially when darkness fell and it became a mass of twinkling lights shining through the night. After a few minutes she heard the door close and felt her heart skip a beat, knowing who it was. Sure enough Harry stood next to her, his hands on the railing as he looked over London. "I always seem to forget how beautiful this city can be," she said quietly.<p>

"Yes," he agreed.

"Its hard to think people want to blow it up," she added.

"That's why we do what we do though isn't it," Harry said. "Because we couldn't imagine planting bombs in the centre of London."

"Mm," she agreed absently, her eyes still wandering over the capital. Harry wanted to put his hand on the small of her back and draw her closer but he refrained. She sighed as if reading his intentions in the air around them. "Look, Harry. I've never been any good at this. Reading people isn't what I'm best at, so I apologise in advance if I'm completely wrong." She turned to him and very gently, very quickly set her lips on his in a small kiss. He was so stunned by this turn of events that he didn't react. She parted from him and looked in his eyes, seeing the shock there.

"Well, clearly I am wrong," she said after a few seconds of silence, turning back to the city as a blush stained her cheeks which he could see even in the darkness.

"No," he said once he could form words again. She just continued looking over the landscape without facing him. "Ruth, look at me." She didn't move an inch. "Please." She did after a few seconds of hesitation. "You are not wrong," he said in a slow voice that made her shiver even underneath her warm layers. He put two fingers underneath her chin and tilted her head upwards a fraction. Then he closed the distance between them and softly kissed her. He felt her smile as their lips touched. Then it just felt wonderful and exquisite. He was slightly reserved with her but when her tongue flicked across his lips he opened his mouth to her, making her heart skip a couple of beats.

Eventually he slowly pulled away and watched as her eyes fluttered open in the darkness. He stroked her hair behind her ear as she smiled broadly. She leaned into his chest, her hand on his jacket over his heart. He hoped she couldn't feel it racing. Her breath washed over his ear as she whispered to him. "Goodnight Harry." She had a slightly nervous smile on her face as she walked away from him and left the rooftop. Harry could still feel her lips on his. He could still taste her sweetness on his tongue, the only indication that it had been real rather than a beautiful fantasy. He returned so he looked over the skyline of London once more. Ruth was right, it was a beautiful city. But never had he appreciated it so much as at this very moment.


	7. Chapter 7

**This is taking longer to write for me because of the topic but I am thrilled with all the reviews so far! Thank you all. Here's the next part...**

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><p>Ruth woke up on Saturday feeling very disorientated. She had had a strange shadowy dream in which Harry kept disappearing and then reappearing and she blinked a couple of times to try and wake herself up. "Hi Fidget," she murmured as the cat jumped on the bed, purring loudly. She stroked the felines head as she heard a quiet knock on the door. It hadn't even gone past eight and she enjoyed her lie ins on non working day. Who on earth wanted to bother her this early? Then she felt a sneaking suspicion it might be Harry. Getting up, she walked over to the window and looked down on the street. She had been right. He had knocked quietly too so she guessed he didn't want to wake her. He looked at her front door once more before shaking his head and crossing the street to his car. By the time he'd opened the door, Ruth had found her phone and gave him a call.<p>

"Yes?" he said. The tone he used made it clear that he hadn't looked to see who it was before answering. She smiled when she thought of the softer tone he always seemed to use around her.

"Some people might call this stalking," she said with a teasing lilt to her voice so he would know she wasn't being serious.

"So I take it you know where I am," he said and she knew he was smiling.

"Give me a second and I'll come down and unlock the door."

"Okay," Harry said. She put the phone down and grabbed her dressing gown. Pausing to look in the mirror she saw her hair was a complete mess. The only thing she could think to do was tie it up and out of the way before rushing downstairs and opening her front door.

"Hi," she said with a smile, moving aside so he could follow her into the kitchen. He wore a shirt with no tie and she wondered if she had ever seen a casually dressed Harry before as she switched the kettle on. "So why are you here?" she asked in a curious tone.

"I don't honestly know," he admitted. "I was halfway here before I even stopped to consider that you might be sleeping or you might not want to see me."

"Tea or coffee?" she interrupted.

"Coffee," he said without really thinking about it. "Thanks." Ruth quietly made their drinks and then sat opposite him once she'd handed him his drink. "So last night…" he said because he couldn't think of anything else to say.

She smiled into her drink. "Yes I remember last night," she said with a smile. "I have an excellent memory thank you."

"I just wanted to make sure you were…"

"I am not made of crystal," she said interrupting him. "I'm not going to shatter into a million pieces, please don't treat me like I might."

"Okay," he said, taking the hint well. "I wondered if you'd like to have dinner with me tonight."

She looked at him for a moment, wondering if she had in fact heard what she thought she had. Then she smiled. "I'd love to," she replied, her eyes sparkling.

"Good," he said. "I'll book a table then."

"That sounds great," she said sincerely. "You could have called to ask me, you didn't have to come around here just to ask me to dinner."

"I could have," he agreed. "I wouldn't have seen your eyes sparkling at me though would I?" She blushed slightly but her eyes stayed on his. "I'll pick you up at seven then?" Just the hint of a question which made her see that he was in fact nervous. Not the usual confident Harry of the grid.

"Yes," she said with a smile.

"Thanks for the coffee," he said leaving the half empty mug on the table. "I'll leave you to your Saturday."

"See you later Harry," she said with a smile as he left her house. Ruth felt a broad smile on her face, very much looking forward to tonight already.

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><p>It was five to seven and Ruth was checking her reflection one last time. She had no idea where Harry was taking her this evening which had made it very hard to chose an outfit. She had settled for a knee length little black dress with a dark jacket. She wore her hair down and had applied just enough makeup to look suitable but not so much that she would look like she was overdoing it. She sat down so she could put her small black heels on. Just enough to make her a little taller but comfortable so she could walk in them without difficulty. She rarely wore heels but for tonight she would make an exception. Then she heard a knock and her heart raced. Grabbing her bag she went downstairs and opened the door.<p>

Harry looked even more attractive then he had that morning in a crisp open necked white shirt and black jacket. Then she saw that he was appraising how she looked too, his eyes skimming over her figure. "You look incredible," he said honestly as his eyes returned to her face.

"Thank you. Shall we go?" He nodded as she pulled the door closed behind her.

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><p>Dinner had been wonderful. Much more comfortable than she had expected previously. There had been no awkward silences and the conversation had flowed well between them. There was a little tension between them, when eye contact was held too long and the like, but it was the kind of tension that made her breath catch and her heart skip a beat or two. It had been thoroughly enjoyable.<p>

Harry drew the car to a stop outside her house. "Do you want to come in?" she asked, her eyes blazing blue at him. He considered for a moment and then nodded. She smiled as they left the car and walked to her front door. Once inside her house, Harry could sense that she was uncomfortable and nervous.

"Forget it," he said trying to put her at ease. "I'll go."

"No," she said straight away. He closed the gap between them and put his hands gently on her waist.

"The last thing I ever want to do is make you uncomfortable," he said.

"I was just thinking about something," she said, her eyes getting a slight far away look in them.

"With your brain I'd expect nothing less," he said with a smile which she reciprocated.

"I just… I don't think there's an easy way to say this so I'm just going to say it," Ruth said looking very nervous even as his thumbs stroked comforting circles on her waist. He waited for her to continue, wondering where this was going. "I'd like you to stay here tonight with me."

"No," he said with difficulty. "I'm never going to rush you."

"No that's not what I meant," she said. "I mean, stay here with me. Sleep in the same bed with nothing further happening. I mean spend the night with me." Then she stopped when she realised that he might not want to spend more time with her.

"Which makes me sound horribly forward. Forget it, it's a bad idea."

"No," he said in a soft voice. He now understood exactly what she wanted. Reassurance and comfort. She needed to spend the night with a man without anything more happening. "I'll stay if you want me to."

"I do," she said a smile breaking out on her face, relieved that he seemed to have taken it so well. "Thank you."


	8. Chapter 8

Harry could not sleep. He was actually in bed with Ruth Evershed. The woman he was hopelessly in love with, even though he had never actually told her. She slept in an old T shirt and almost as soon as she had got into bed she'd fallen asleep. But not before curling up next to him. He had been staying on his side of the bed as it were, when she had rolled towards him and kissed him gently, a smile on her face. He had softly put his hands on her waist as her eyes closed. Which was where he was now, watching her sleep, listening to her relaxed breathing and feeling happy that she felt safe enough to sleep with him here.

Eventually he must have drifted off because he woke up to sunlight streaming through the window and Ruth nuzzling into his neck. "Mm," he said sleepily. It felt so good to have her this close to him. His hands found the hem of her T shirt and pushed it up, so his fingers could trace the contours of her spine. Her skin was so warm and inviting and then she kissed him. It was a deep passionate kiss, not like the gentle ones they had shared previously. His fingertips had reached the clasp of her bra and that seemed to jerk him to his senses. He pulled away from her and the moment was broken.

"I was enjoying that," she said with a smile, her blue eyes twinkling at him. Their legs were tangled and she could feel against her thigh that he had rather enjoyed it too.

"Too fast," he said in explanation, even as his heavy breathing gave him away.

"For me or for you?" she asked. He didn't answer. She sighed and sat up, quickly taking her T shirt off, and he swallowed as he saw that he black bra matched her dress of the night before. So she'd thought about it.

"You don't have to prove anything," he said even as his body was betraying how much he wanted her. She smiled as if knowing what he was thinking and kissed his lips briefly.

"This is about me and you," she said in a voice just above a whisper. "Nothing else." She looked slightly nervous at being so forward so he pulled her down to him and kissed her like his life depended on it as hands started wandering.

"Tell me if it gets too much for you," he said breathlessly. She nodded once, smiled and then kissed him again.

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><p>Her head was on his chest and he was stroking her hair gently. "Are you…"<p>

"I swear to God, if you ask me if I'm okay, I am going to chuck you out of my house so fast you won't have time to blink," she said quickly.

"Alright then," he said with a smile kissing the top of her head.

"Ouch," Ruth said, suddenly sitting up. Harry looked and saw her cat who had clearly just clawed her foot. "Fidget," she said under her breath. "He wants breakfast," Ruth said. "I'll be back in a minute."

"Hang on," Harry said. He pulled her in for a long kiss and then a meow brought them back to reality. "I'll be right back," she said, throwing her T shirt on as she went downstairs. Harry watched her go feeling happier than he thought possible.

* * *

><p><strong>Not sure if that's the end or not. Any suggestions for where to go from here? Also I've created a youtube fan-video, the links on my profile. Its my first attempt but I hope someone will enjoy it!<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**As this was set at the end of series 4 I've now decided to progress into series five. I'm following the on screen plot but I do apologise if things are out of order. Its been a while since I've watched 5-1 and 5-2. Also, I've added the M rated chapter requested in the last section. Enjoy...**

* * *

><p>"What is it?" Ruth asked as Harry came in to the briefing room. She could tell from the look on his face that something serious had happened. Harry moved his eyes from her to Malcolm who was also watching him.<p>

"Its Colin," he said. The silence was so heavy it was like the truth was being broadcast through the very air.

"Say it," Malcolm said quietly.

"He's dead," Harry said, only sparing Ruth a brief glance before turning to one of his oldest friends.

"How?" Malcolm demanded.

"He was found hung from a tree," Harry admitted. Ruth swallowed and looked down feeling incredibly empty. Malcolm hadn't said a word. He got up slowly and left the room.

"Are you okay?" he asked Ruth. She looked up at him with her clear blue eyes.

"No."

"I want to talk to Malcolm," Harry said, looking the way he'd just left.

"Of course," Ruth said. She understood. Colin was the best friend Malcolm had ever had and she couldn't imagine what this was doing to him. She checked to make sure they were alone and then she said something else. "I don't want to sleep alone tonight." He reached across the table and squeezed her hand in understanding before he left. She felt tears burn her eyes even as she tried to stop them fall. What had Colin ever done to deserve that? They would work harder than ever to catch these bastards, she thought to herself. No one deserved that.

* * *

><p>"Are you asleep?" Harry asked quietly. Not enough to rouse her, but if she was awake…"<p>

"I can't sleep," she said, turning to him and looking up into his face. "All I can think of is Colin dying like…"

"I know," Harry said stroking her hair as they fell silent once more. Then Ruth changed the subject.

"Does it bother you?"

"What?"

"That I want to keep us private from everyone at work," Ruth explained.

"No," he said. "As long as you're comfortable, that's the important thing."

"I don't want people to think I'm sleeping with the boss to get ahead," Ruth said, chewing her lip.

"No one who knows you would even think you capable of that," Harry said honestly.

"I know it wouldn't alter everyone's opinion of me. Like Adam or Jo or Malcolm. I know that but its everyone else. People in MI5 and Whitehall who don't know me. Who will think that I'm sleeping with you to get ahead in my career, and that you're carrying on with me because I'm available and if I'm being honest, quite a bit younger than yourself. I don't want people thinking that. I don't want it to be seen as sordid, when I'm rather enjoying us together."

"You worry too much," Harry said even as an arm tightened around her waist.

"I know," she replied. "I am worried about tomorrow too."

"Why?"

"The meeting you've got with Collingwood and the others, the march on London. I just get the feeling something bad is going to happen."

"Something bad has already happened Ruth," he said kissing her cheek softly.

"I know. Look, I'm going in to the grid," she said suddenly getting up out of bed. Harry looked at the clock and saw it was three in the morning. "I know you're here because I asked, but I'm not going to get any sleep. I'd rather be doing something productive.

"Okay," he said. "I can't sleep either. I'll come with you." She nodded and quickly got dressed. She stood in front of the mirror but Harry knew she wasn't even seeing herself. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her temple. She leant back into his chest, feeling his reassuring warmth, at the same time as dreading what the day might bring.

* * *

><p><strong>I'll keep going as long as people want it. I'm going to follow the on screen plot closely though. Hope you liked the new direction.<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**I got a lot of questions about how I'm going to deal with 5-5, and I have absolutely no idea as yet! I'm sure it'll work itself out though.**

* * *

><p>"This protest is going to be much bigger than we originally thought," Ruth said to Malcolm, the only one still on the grid and in earshot. "Buses and trains full of people are already rolling into the city and its not for hours yet." She turned away from her computer screen monitoring the CCTV and looked at Malcolm who still hadn't spoken. "What is it?"<p>

"One of the cars coming back from the meeting has been blown up," he said. Ruth found herself getting to her feet before she could even think.

"Harry?" she asked in a dreaded whisper, not sure she wanted to know the answer.

"No news yet." Ruth nodded, feeling the bottom drop out of her world. What on earth was she going to do if… No, stop thinking like that, she told herself. "I can cover for you if…" Ruth looked at Malcolm and realised she'd been standing still thinking for several minutes.

"No," Ruth said turning back to her computer. "I'm more use here." Malcolm nodded but said nothing else for which she was grateful. Making sure he was busy, Ruth called Harry's mobile and was infuriated when it went straight through to answer phone. "Bloody man," she cursed under her breath, refusing to think the worst. She got up the CCTV trying to find the two cars in question. One was easy, an abandoned car in Whitehall. With the amount of smoke obscuring the CCTV cameras it was impossible to see much around the other car. Ruth was trying to see through the smoke when her phone rang.

"Yes?"

"Its me," Harry said and she felt warm relief flow through her.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"I'm fine."

"Adam?"

"Fine too," Harry said. "Its Juliet. It looks like she's got some spinal damage. She might not walk again."

"Oh God," Ruth said to herself. She didn't like Juliet, and liked her personal history with Harry even less but that didn't mean that she wanted to see her crippled.

"I can't come back to the grid yet, I have things to do, but I just wanted to let you know I'm okay."

"Thank you," Ruth said sincerely. "Please be okay by this time tomorrow."

"I'll do my best," he replied and she heard the smile in his voice. She put the phone down and saw Malcolm watching her.

"Harry and Adam are okay," Ruth said. "Juliet's in hospital though. She's got damage to her spine."

"Oh no," Malcolm said to himself. "We need to focus though. We've still got a lot to do today." Ruth nodded, knowing he was right. She got back to work, still filled with relief that Harry was okay.

* * *

><p>Unfortunately that relief didn't last long. When Adam got back to the grid he had a look on his face that was the epitome of being the bearer of bad news. "What is it?" Zaf asked before Ruth could even open her mouth.<p>

"Harry."

"What is it this time?" Ruth asked, hoping her voice wouldn't betray her.

"He's been taken by a temporary detention order," Adam said. "I've no idea where he's being held."

"This is because he caused so much trouble for them isn't it?" Malcolm said.

"I would assume so," Adam said.

"Do you think they'll kill him?" Malcolm asked. Ruth was glad he'd voiced the question because she didn't think she would have found the courage to.

"Yes," Adam said simply. "If we don't catch them first." Ruth looked at her desk, feeling several sets of eyes going over her figure. But she couldn't look up. Suddenly the noise level around her picked up and she realised everyone had got back to work.

"Ruth," Adam said quietly, at her desk. "I need you to focus on the march. Its getting underway now."

"I know, but Harry…"

"I'm going to have a little chat with Myers, and I'm going to take Ros with me. Hopefully she'll appeal to her fathers better nature."

"I didn't know he had a better nature," Ruth said with a tiny smile, picking up her phone in a weary sort of way.

"Thanks Ruth." She pushed aside her fear and got to work.

* * *

><p>"We've got him," Zaf said over the phone. Ruth breathed a sigh of relief. It was over. Harry was safe. She knew that he'd come back onto the grid before going home so she stayed at her desk, even though she was tired to the bone. She must have got completely lost in thought because the next time she looked up a bedraggled Harry was emerging from the pods. The grid was almost completely empty now and she wondered how long she'd lost thinking about Harry. She followed him to his office and as soon as the door was closed he wrapped his arms around her.<p>

"Thank God you're safe," she said as his hands stroked her back.

"Mm," he agreed, sounding as tired as she felt.

"Please don't try and kill yourself again," she said, drawing back from him and looking in his eyes.

"I'll do my best." She kissed him firmly as he pulled her closer.

"You stink of petrol," she said before she could stop herself.

"Hello to you too," he said with a raised eyebrow.

"How close was it today?" she asked.

"Very," he replied. "Look, Go over to mine, and I'll be there as soon as I can. Just got a few calls to make."

"Okay," she said taking the key he offered to her.

"The security number is 701343," he said. She nodded. She felt slightly nervous, she'd never been in Harry's house without him. But that was ridiculous, she thought to herself. He gave her a thorough kiss before she left. A kiss which left a smile on her face.


	11. Chapter 11

**I got on a bit of a roll with this chapter so I'm posting quicker than I intended. Taken a couple of scenes out of 5-2 and 5-3 and tweaked with them a little. Thanks for the reviews so far. xxx**

* * *

><p>"How are you?" Harry asked, sitting next to Juliet who was resting in her hospital bed.<p>

"Crippled," Juliet said with her usual bluntness.

"The doctors are a little more hopeful today," Harry said.

"Oh for God's sake Harry, I don't need softening up," Juliet said, her eyes glaring at him.

"Fine," Harry said with a shrug. "Collingwood hung himself. But we are having a problem with what to do with the others." The conversation turned to business which was broken when something flickered outside the window, catching Juliet's eyes.

"Here's the spaniel," Juliet said quickly.

"Shame they can't replace your spine with your tongue," Harry countered quickly.

"Are you in love with Ruth?"

"Do the words skating and thin ice mean anything to you?" Harry asked. He didn't like discussing his private life at the best of times.

"I'm disabled," Juliet said with a raised eyebrow. "I get a special licence."

"I am not answering that question," Harry said firmly. It was none of her business anyway.

"Well she's in love with you."

"Is that so?"

"Yes," Juliet said with so much conviction that Harry stared at her in spite of himself. He knew there was a lot of trust between them, but he wasn't convinced she loved him, not yet. But Juliet did seem convinced, that much was clear.

"If you say so," Harry said, not wanting to elaborate on the nature of his relationship with Ruth. She wanted it kept private and he would respect that.

"Harry, you could do a lot worse than her," Juliet said quietly.

"Thank you for your assessment," Harry said with a hint of sarcasm.

"Go," Juliet said, and she was actually smiling. Harry nodded and left, and felt relieved to see Ruth who was just outside the door.

"How is she?" Ruth asked as they walked down the corridor.

"Probably be wheelchair bound for the rest of her life but in a surprisingly good mood," Harry replied.

"I guess it'll take more than an exploding car to dampen her spirits," Ruth said.

"Hmm," Harry agreed. "Are you okay?" he asked as she lapsed into silence.

"Yes," she said and it was sort of true. "I think Malcolm might have guessed about us," she added. "My reaction when he told me a car had blown up was quite a giveaway."

"Are you worried?" he asked in what he hoped was a casual voice.

"No," she said. "He didn't say anything, I just got the impression from him. Anyway, it won't change how I feel." She caught his eyes as they got into his car and he felt relieved over her reaction. She smiled as he pulled away, saving her energy to deal with the next disaster.

* * *

><p>"Ask me some more questions," Adam said as Jo picked up her wine glass.<p>

"Okay," Jo said. "Why did Harry go home with Ruth tonight?"

"About my legend. Wait, what!" Jo smiled as the news had clearly caught him off guard.

"Yes, I got talking to Harry's driver today. Apparently he needs lessons from the boss in keeping secrets."

"Are you sure? Harry going home with Ruth?"

"Yes," Jo said, draining her glass of red wine. "I checked the MI5 cameras and they definitely got in the same car. I also got the impression that this isn't exactly the first occasion its happened either."

"They've been hiding it from us," Adam said incredulously, half torn between amusement and indignation that he hadn't discovered it himself. Jo nodded her agreement. "But… why? I mean, anything that puts Harry in a good mood is fine with me."

"I'm sure they have their reasons," Jo said, shrugging slightly. "Just thought I'd share the news."

"How long do you reckon this has been going on?" Adam asked.

"I don't know," Jo said. "I mean they have both been attracted to each other for as long as I've been here, that was obvious. But I have a feeling its relatively recent."

"Harry and Ruth," Adam said to himself as if mulling it over. "Bloody hell!" Jo laughed, loving that something good seemed to come out of the terrorist threats they dealt with on a day to day basis.

* * *

><p>Ruth woke up feeling wonderfully lazy as Harry's fingertips trailed over her body. She stretched and would be perfectly contented to never move again. "Morning," Harry whispered, kissing her cheek. She opened her eyes and saw Harry studying her curiously.<p>

"You look worried," Ruth said.

"People are going to put two and two together soon you know," Harry said. "About us. We don't work with idiots."

"I know," she said. "Let them," she said with a smile. "I'm happy. It doesn't bother me so much what they think. Now that I feel fairly sure you aren't just going to up and leave me."

"Did you ever think I would?" he asked, surprised and hurt at this assessment of his character.

"I will admit that it did cross my mind once or twice in the early days of our relationship," she said, looking him straight in the eye. "But it wasn't because of who you are now, it was your history. Your past. I know you've had a lot of affairs with women you've met at work. I did wonder if I was just one of the many. I don't anymore."

"Good because you are one of a kind," he said sincerely. He couldn't criticise her for her thoughts. His history wasn't the best, and she hadn't exactly had a lot of reasons to trust men in the past in the first place. He didn't blame her. "For the last three or four years, I don't look at women anymore. I only look at you."

A truly happy smile blossomed on her face. "That's nice to hear," she said. Then she changed the subject. "You're going to make me go to Havensworth aren't you?"

"We need you there," Harry said with a sigh. He had known she didn't want to be surrounded by prying and useless politicians, but practically she was needed. "I know you don't want to go, but just think, you and I trapped in a hotel for three nights... That sounds very interesting." She smiled and kissed him slowly and lovingly.

"I'm going to have my shower," she said, leaving the warm confines of her bed. Harry watched her go and then closed his eyes. He could do with five more minutes sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**I seem to be living and breathing spooks at the moment. Finding clips for fan videos as well as writing this fic. After this chapter it gets a bit tricky because I literally have no idea where to go from here. Enjoy anyway!**

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><p>"How's everything going?" Ruth asked Malcolm.<p>

"Okay, all the politicians are arriving. The Americans have removed all the bugs, so have the Chinese including the one in the showerhead, and the Russians are drinking vodka and playing cards."

"So all as usual then," Jo said giving Ruth a quick smile.

"I'm off to Havensworth then," Ruth said.

"I thought you asked to stay here," Malcolm said.

"I did," Ruth said. "I was ignored. Its fine."

"I'm sure Harry will provide ample compensation once you get there," Jo said before she could stop herself. Ruth glared at the blonde but before she could even open her mouth Jo shook her head. "I'm sorry, that was completely uncalled for."

"Jo, it is none of our business what goes on between Harry and Ruth," Malcolm said focusing on his computer screen intently.

"Just one more question before I leave," Ruth said sharply. "How many people have been discussing my private life?" Their silence spoke volumes. "Well I would appreciate it of you could keep your opinions about me to yourself rather than discussing my motives. Thank you."

"Ruth, I didn't mean anything…" Jo said, feeling terrible.

"I'll see you in three days," Ruth said turning to go. She left the grid before anyone could call her back.

"What on earth made you say that?" Malcolm asked Jo.

"The fact that I haven't seen my bed in about 40 hours," Jo said trying to stay awake. "I've been up all night keeping tabs on the hotel, but what on earth made me say that? God I feel awful."

"You know what a private person she is," Malcolm said.

"I already feel terrible," Jo said, her face in her hands. "You don't need to criticise me any further." Malcolm let it drop, knowing that Jo was really fond of Ruth and she wouldn't have said anything to make her uncomfortable on purpose.

* * *

><p>Ruth walked into the hotel lobby feeling very angry. She had known it was a matter of time before everyone found out but to have been confronted so bluntly with the fact everyone knew… She was interrupted by these thoughts by Harry appearing. "Ah, good. I'm glad you're here. We need your organisational skills."<p>

"Mm," Ruth said nodding absently.

"What's wrong?" he asked, knowing her better than anyone else.

"Apparently our relationship is now common knowledge among our colleagues," Ruth said. "I'll get used to it, I just wasn't expecting it today, that's all."

"Okay," Harry said quietly. He wondered if he should keep on the subject of their relationship then decided that at present they had more important things to deal with.

"Well, we've got our operations room on the second floor."

"Right, do I need to sort out a room?" she asked.

"No, its sorted for you." She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Your own room," he clarified.

"Okay thanks," she said with a smile. Harry's phone rang and he sighed. "I have to…"

"Sure," Ruth said, leaving him to deal with the politicians.

* * *

><p>It was late that night and Ruth couldn't sleep. As much as she'd like to, she couldn't blame the music blaring across the hall. Over the past few weeks she was shocked to think of how many nights she had slept alone recently. There weren't many of them, but she hadn't really realised it until faced with the prospect of an empty bed. Sighing, she put her clothes back on and went into the hallway with the intention of knocking on Harry's door. She was surprised to see Harry only a few feet away from her hotel room. The look on her face must have given something away because he smiled at her.<p>

"I can't sleep," she said.

"Nor me," Harry replied quietly, in that soft voice she found so irresistible. He knew what effect he could have on her. He indicated his room with a jerk of the head and waited for her to reply. The way she was biting her lip made it clear she was seriously considering it. "If you're that worried, I'll set the alarm and you can go back early in the morning?"

She laughed. "A little extreme," she said with a smile. But she moved to follow him anyway. Within five minutes she was lying in his bed, his hands gently soothing her as she fell into sleep. He smiled at her sleeping form, loving the fact he could do this to her. Make her so comfortable that she could so easily let go of her worries and drift away. He loved having her sleeping in his arms like this, it was so simple and so enjoyable. He kissed her slightly tangled hair and murmured under his breath. "I love you." Of course there was no reaction from her, but he experienced a surge of enjoyment simply from saying it to her. He kissed her once more before closing his eyes and sleeping next to her.

* * *

><p>"Oh God," Ruth complained as a loud knock on the door brought her to her senses. Her head had been pillowed against Harry's shoulder and she groaned as he moved and her head hit the mattress. He looked at her, a question in his eyes. "Just open the door Harry," she said rubbing her eyes.<p>

"You sure?"

"Yes," she said. "There's no way I'm even thinking about moving yet." He smiled and opened the door just as Adam was raising his hand to knock again.

"What?" Harry asked.

"Harry we have a problem, there's… Oh." He came to a stop, seeing Ruth in bed, who clearly had no intention of moving anytime soon.

"Are you going to tell us problem or continue staring at me?" Ruth asked, sitting up. Adam moved so he could look at Harry.

"The Americans are working with the Japanese," Adam said. "I'll meet you in the operations room." He vanished before saying another word and Harry turned to Ruth, relieved that she was still smiling.

"I should go," Harry said quietly, getting dressed. Ruth nodded and when he slipped his jacket on he leant over the bed, giving Ruth a brief kiss.

"You call that a good morning kiss?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. He smiled and gave her a proper wake up call. "I'll be there soon," she whispered, more than slightly breathless over the intensity of that kiss.

"Take your time," he said. He left the room without pausing for anything further and Ruth smiled at the closed door. Well, it was truly out of the bag now, she thought to herself. But at the end of the day, she didn't really mind.


	13. Chapter 13

When Harry opened the door, it was to see three faces staring at him. It didn't take much for him to work out the subject that Ros, Adam and Zaf had just been discussing. He also guessed that Malcolm and Jo would be informed within the hour if they hadn't already been called. "So, what's the problem?"

Conversation turned to the Americans and the Japanese. Just when they'd finished, Ruth came into the room, a smile on her face. "Morning," she said before settling behind her computer. She knew everyone was watching her but she wasn't going to give them the satisfaction by reacting.

"Ruth, can you keep digging through Styles personal files? I want to know everything on that computer," Adam said. Ruth nodded and got to work. "By the way, sleep well?" he asked with a glint in his eye.

"Yes thank you Adam," she replied. "Very." Everyone left the room, except Harry, who was staring at Ruth. "Is there a problem?" she asked, thinking about the operation rather than their relationship.

"No," he said smiling back at her. "You look happy."

"I am." He closed the gap between them and kissed her, soft and lingering.

"I'll see you later," he said, sealing the promise with a further kiss. She smiled as he left and then got to work.

* * *

><p>"Fancy seeing you here," Harry said that night as Ruth sat next to him in the bar.<p>

"It was a good day today," Ruth said with a half smile. "They've all signed the agreement."

"Yes," Harry said. "Can I get you a drink?"

"Vodka and lemonade please," she said to the barman who had just approached them.

"I'm disappointed Ruth," Harry said, shaking his head as she got her drink. "A Russian drink?"

"Well we can't all like Scotch can we?" Ruth said taking a sip.

"Are you okay? After this morning?"

"We weren't going to stay secret for long," Ruth said. "Its oddly freeing actually. It means I can do this without worrying." She leaned across and gently kissed him. It was soft and all too brief, but Harry appreciated the gesture all the same. She was showing him that it really didn't bother her. He leaned in and gave her another kiss. When they broke apart she was smiling. Suddenly she felt eyes on her and turned to see Adam watching them. She reached for Harry's hand and squeezed, before taking another sip of her drink.

* * *

><p>A few days later Ruth woke up early. She was getting dressed when Harry rolled over and reached for her in the empty space in the bed. "What are you doing?" he asked in a hoarse voice.<p>

"I have to go to a meet early this morning," Ruth said.

"Why?"

"I'm picking up the report on the Cotterdam fire," she said, buttoning up her blouse.

"That's not published until tomorrow afternoon," Harry said sitting up.

"Hence the reason I'm picking it up now rather than during office hours," Ruth said.

"Something's not right with this, I just get a feeling that its wrong."

"You worry too much," Harry said.

"Worry in this job is useful," Ruth said. "It keeps us alive."

"What a sunny idea to wake up to," Harry said sarcastically.

"I'll see you on the grid," she said. Leaning over the bed she gave him a long good morning kiss before quickly leaving.

* * *

><p>At about ten in the morning Harry appeared on the grid, surprised to see Ruth sitting in his office through the window. He approached her and opened the door. "Last time I checked this was my office not yours," Harry said as she smiled.<p>

"Yes, well I didn't want to be interrupted by either Jo's knowing looks or Adam's comments. I had a report to speed read."

"And?"

"Its ridiculous. Not one word of this report is true, I could swear it. Read it yourself." She passed him the book and he silently marvelled at her ability to have skimmed it in such a short space of time. "By the way, I heard about that suicide on the tube this morning. It isn't a coincidence."

"I know you're a genius but that is impressive," Harry said.

"Mik Maudsley, head of security for south east prisons," Ruth continued with a knowing glance.

"Keep going," Harry said.

"He was at Cotterdam the night of the fire too," Ruth continued. Not found out more about him yet though."

"Look into it," Harry said firmly. Ruth nodded. "Why would special branch lie about it in their report? What's to gain by hiding the truth? Or not bothering to investigate it in the first place."

"I have no idea," Ruth said. "I want to have a look around Maudsley's place too. Something's not right here, I can feel it."

"There'll be time for that. Just do a little digging. If there's anything to find I have total faith that you will discover it."

"I'm sure I will," Ruth replied.

"Can I have my desk back?" Harry asked. Ruth smiled and moved so Harry could sit.

"I'll look into it," Ruth replied. "Shall I brief the team?"

"No, keep it to yourself for the time being. See what you uncover." Ruth nodded and left, feeling Harry's eyes in her back the entire time she walked away.

* * *

><p><strong>Not entirely sure the plot is going to make sense with the changes I'm making but I hope it'll be okay. Also I'm putting it to a vote, do you want Ruth to go? Or stay at Thames House?<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

"You look angry," Ruth said as Harry came into her living room. Ruth already had a glass of wine in her hand and she went through to the kitchen to get Harry his usual whisky.

"Oliver Mace is a completely useless waste of space filling a political position when he has no interest in doing the job. He'd rather smoke cigars and drink whisky all day." Ruth looked pointedly at his glass and he rolled his eyes. "I have a drink after a days hard work, that's the difference."

"I know," she said returning to the sofa. Harry sat next to her and took her feet into his lap. She raised her eyes in surprise but allowed him to rub her feet. He was damn good at it and it felt wonderful. So wonderful it was hard to keep track of the conversation. "So why do you hate Mace today?"

"He knows special branch are hiding what really happened, and he knows why, but he isn't talking, the slimy git."

"You've hated him for years," Ruth said. "Why are you surprised?"

"Its just annoying when he displays just how low he can be," Harry said with a sigh. "Cotterdam, an accident, I don't think so," he added.

"Of course it wasn't an accident," Ruth agreed. "Mm," she added as he kept massaging her feet. "I want to check out Maudsley's house. He must have left something somewhere. It's the only lead we've got left. I've got Jo looking into satellite images of the prison that night but they're proving difficult to get hold of."

"Why are you so eager to look at this?"

"You know its not right Harry. Its irritating me."

"Okay, but I want Ros and Adam over there," Harry said. "We'll monitor them as they trawl through his house."

"Is this practicality calling or do you not want to let me out of your sight?" Ruth asked.

"Both," he said. "You'd be better watching and I'll worry less if you're on the grid. Whatever this is, its dangerous."

"Okay," she said with a smile. "I'll stay nice and safe tucked up in Thames House."

"Thank you," Harry said. "Just for me, thank you." She shuffled across the sofa and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Move in with me," Harry said suddenly.

"What?" she asked in a quiet voice, completely thrown.

"I hate spending any time away from you," Harry said. "My house is cold and lonely whenever you're not there. I love you so much, I do. So move in with me."

"You… you just said you love me," Ruth said quietly, looking into his eyes.

"Okay, not the way I'd planned to say it for the first time," he admitted. "But its true. I love you."

She smiled and shifted on the sofa, both her hands cradling his face. "I love you too," she said and kissed him passionately. By the time they parted she was breathing heavily, her eyes sparkling at him. "I'm not sure moving in with you is the best idea though."

"Why?" he asked softly.

"Because we already work together," Ruth said. "We spend so much time together already. What if… what if you get bored of me?"

"That is such a trivial worry," he said, gently stroking her hair. "I don't think I could ever get bored of you. Anyway, I worry when you're not with me. Which is overprotective and overbearing of me but it's a result of doing this job for too long. You see things go wrong so often, I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you."

"I am able to take care of myself you know," Ruth said with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course you are," he said. "I know that. Its my problem." He kissed her softly. "I'd love to live with you though. And for the record, it would be because I love you, not for any other reason."

"I'll think about it," she said biting her lip.

"That means no," he said sadly.

"No it doesn't," she said. "I need time to think about it. Just time."

"Okay," he said with a smile which had taken quite a bit of effort. "Lets go to bed."

"Best suggestion I've heard all day," she said with a smile. He held her close before they both went upstairs.

* * *

><p>"No…" Harry woke up quickly at the noise. He looked around the bedroom but quickly realised there was no threat here. It was Ruth calling out in her sleep. "Please no… Please."<p>

"Ruth, you're okay," he said, stroking a hand through her hair. It had no effect on her.

"Leave me alone!" Harry looked at her and saw her face was wet with tears and he wondered how long she'd been having this nightmare. It didn't take a lot to work out what she was dreaming of. "Please stop it! Don't touch me!" He felt his heart break as he looked at her face, clearly in agony over the memories she was reliving.

"Ruth, wake up," he said firmly and loudly. He put both hands on her shoulders and shook her to try and make her wake.

"NO!" With a strength he didn't know she had she pushed him away. "Stop it. You're hurting me." Harry didn't dare touch her again. Instead he lowered his head and called her name into her ear. It was loud enough that she came awake with a jerk, breathing heavily.

"You're okay," he said as she started shaking. He put a hand on her shoulder but she pushed him away.

"Don't touch me," she said, but in a much quieter and calmer voice.

"Okay," he said backing away from her. "I'm here if you want to talk. If you _need_ to talk."

"I know," she said. "Just give me a minute." She slowed her breathing down and wiped the tears from her face. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"That's the least important thing on my mind right now," he said. He wanted to hold her and comfort her but he didn't know if it was too much.

"I'm sorry," she said, still staring at the ceiling. "Sometimes it just comes over me like that. Sorry."

"Don't you dare apologise," he said in a low and menacing voice which was enough to make her look at him. "This is not your fault, you do not have to say sorry."

"Oh God Harry," she whispered as the tears overcame her again. She rested her head against his chest and he took this as a sign she would welcome some comfort. He gently held her and stroked her back as she calmed down. She planted a gentle kiss on his lips and pulled away a fraction, his arm still around her waist.

"Do you need to talk?"

"I can't," she admitted. "Because seeing the horror on your face if I told you… specifics… would make it so much worse and so much harder to live with. I can't."

"Okay," he said. He wanted to suggest something but didn't know how she'd take it. "Maybe you should see a psychologist?"

"I'm not crazy!" she said indignantly.

"I know that," he said instantly. "You are dealing with something horrific and painful and have been for years. I think you should talk to someone. If you don't feel able, or you don't want to talk to me, that's fine."

"You are so understanding," Ruth said with a smile. "I'll think about it. I'm not promising anything though, but I will... consider it."

"Good," Harry said. "Do you think you could go back to sleep?"

"Probably," she said. "I get these nightmares now and again." She turned her back to him and he was suddenly hurt that she didn't seem to want to talk anymore. That evaporated when she pulled his arms around her waist tight and leant back against his chest.

"I won't let anything happen to you," he whispered as she fell into an uneasy sleep.

"Love you," she whispered as her eyes closed. He kissed her neck and murmured the same words back to her. He hated the man who had done this to her. Although "man" might be a generous stretch of a word. Coward, scumbag and bastard were much more appropriate. He didn't sleep that night. He spent the dark hours watching her, and making sure she slept well.


	15. Chapter 15

**This one's a bit plot heavy but I hope people can get through it okay. Also theres a few more links on my profile to fan video's. My new hobby seems to be creating them as well as writing HR fiction...**

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><p>"How is everything going?" Harry asked both Malcolm and Ruth who were watching over Maudsley's house while Adam and Ros were going through everything.<p>

"Nothing out of the ordinary yet," Malcolm said. "Everything as expected."

"What's that?" Ruth said pointing at her screen showing the cameras outside of the building. It was nothing more than a white blur on the bricks outside. No one answered her. "Adam, there's something outside the kitchen window on the right hand side, I can't see what it is from the CCTV angle."

"Hang on," Adam said. She waited as he opened the window and took something inside. "Its just a random picture. There's nothing special about it."

"Show me what it is," Ruth said. Ros used the camera she'd taken into the house and sent the image back to the grid. "Oh my God, that's not a random picture," Ruth said quickly. "Its Offa."

"What?" four people said at once.

"Offa, an ancient King of Mercia. Years and years ago I wrote a thesis about the site of his palace, now known as Woodstreet. There must be something there. There has to be."

Before anything further could be said Jo came into earshot with a sheaf of pictures. "Satellite photos of Cotterdam, the afternoon of the fire," Jo said putting copies down on the desks. Ruth looked at the images seeing seven figures being led from the prison.

"Seven people being removed from the prison an ninety minutes before the place was set alight," Jo said as everyone looked at their copy of the picture.

"Who could have managed that?" Ruth asked.

"It has to be the intelligence services," Harry said shaking his head. "No one else would have been able to pull it off."

"To do what with them?" Jo asked.

"I would imagine they have been shipped to an Eastern country and we are trying to get information out of them in less than wholesome ways," Malcolm said with a frown on his face.

"You mean they're being tortured," Ruth said bluntly. "Well it isn't us, so who the hell has been doing this?"

"I don't know but I intend to find out," Harry said, with a growl in his voice. "Ruth, are you sure about Woodstreet?"

"As sure as I ever can be in this job," Ruth said.

"Okay. Malcolm, send Adam and Ros the directions, Ruth, a word please." Ruth turned and obliged, following him into his office.

"What is it?" she asked, slightly annoyed at being pulled away from the surveillance when it was she who had had the brain wave.

"Are you sure you're up to this?" he asked quietly.

"Harry, I had a bad night, that's all," she said. "I've had nightmares before and I'll probably have them again. I'm still perfectly capable of doing my job."

"I worry," he said squeezing her hand. She softened towards him despite her irritation.

"I'm okay," she said with a smile. "Now anything else, or can I get back to helping Malcolm?"

"Just wait a second," Harry said. He closed the gap and softly kissed her. So gentle and feather light that she could push him away if she wanted to. She didn't want to. She leaned in for a second one and then smiled.

"I'll get back to work," she said, squeezing his hand before vanishing through the door.

* * *

><p>"We've got it," Adam said rushing into the pods half an hour later. "We need a microdot reader." Malcolm quickly got one as the team went through to the briefing room. Then Adam brought the document into focus, a big copy going up on the screen.<p>

"Extradition and special interrogation measures," Jo read out from the screen. "Oh God."

"Go down to the guest list," Harry said. "I want to know who was there." Adam did and there followed a list of names including Oliver Mace.

"Oh my God," Ruth said. "MI5 section D. Fox." She had read quicker than the others but a deadly silence rang out in the room as everyone else caught up to her.

"That's impossible," Malcolm said breaking the silence. "They knew they couldn't get anyone from MI5 to go along with this so they put it in so we couldn't expose it."

"I think you're right," Harry said. "No wonder Mace didn't want to tell me. We're torturing them and what, we're supposed to look in the other direction?"

"How do we bring this to light?" Jo asked.

"I have no idea," Harry said. "Ruth, make copies of that document. I want backup just in case things get bad."

"Yes, of course."

* * *

><p>Later that evening, Harry had sent everyone home, including Ruth. He planned to join her at her house relatively quickly but the torture meeting was annoying him. He wanted to expose the documents but he couldn't see how to do it without implicating his staff. Which he supposed was the reason "Fox" had been put in the minutes from that meeting in the first place. He heard a knock on his office door and felt his spirits sink. A knock meant it wouldn't be Ruth. "Yes?"<p>

"Harry," Adam said, coming in and sitting down. "I've had a thought. How old is that meeting? When did it happen?"

"Er," Harry paused checking the copy Ruth had given him earlier. "Five months ago, why?"

"In that case I've thought of a way we can get out of this and still publish the meeting."

"That sounds to good to be true," Harry said sceptically.

"Say the section D presence at that meeting was Fiona," Adam said.

"No," Harry replied firmly. "We are not involving her."

"You want to expose this just as much as I do," Adam said. "We have to do something. We can't just let this vanish."

"We are not smearing your wife's name just because its convenient, I'm surprised at you Adam."

"What more can they do to her?" Adam said bluntly. "Look, I miss my wife terribly, and I wouldn't be suggesting this if I could genuinely see a different way out. I can't think of anything else to do." Harry couldn't think of a single thing to say to this.

"Come on Harry, she wouldn't want anyone to go to prison for this, especially when its none of our faults."

"And you'll be fine with everyone thinking your wife is a traitor? Condoning torture?"

"People will forget," Adam said. "I don't like it but I can't think of a better solution. Can you?"

"I'll talk to Ruth," Harry said begrudgingly.

"Why? Do you run all of your professional decisions through her?"

Harry glared at him for a second. "Because she's more intelligent than the both of us put together," Harry said. "If anyone can think of a way out of this it'll be her."

"Okay," Adam admitted. "I'll see you tomorrow." Harry nodded and watched Adam leave. What the hell was he going to do now?

* * *

><p><strong>Everyone wanted Ruth to stay so I am trying my best. Hope this wasn't too bad even though it had minimal HR.<strong>


	16. Chapter 16

**Wow! Thanks for all your reviews! I wasn't sure how shifting the blame to Fiona would work, but I'm glad you're all liking it**

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><p>Harry opened Ruth's door to a quiet house. He reset her alarm, and then quietly went upstairs. "You're late," Ruth said in a soft voice, smiling as she put her book down on her bedside table. He kissed her in greeting as she watched him.<p>

"Adam came to see me," Harry said.

"You sound practically suicidal at that," Ruth said surprised.

"He wants to shift the blame for the meeting onto Fiona."

"I did think of it," Ruth admitted. Harry glared at her. "I'm an analyst Harry, I look at all the options. I would never suggest it though, its not exactly the ideal solution is it? We can't. Just the thought of blaming her makes me feel awful."

"I know," Harry said. "I wouldn't even be mentioning it if Adam hadn't suggested it first."

"We can't do it," Ruth said. "It just makes me feel so horribly guilty."

"I wanted to talk to you. To see if you had another idea to expose this."

"I don't," she said sadly, a hand running over his back as he got into bed. "I've been thinking about it all day and I can't see another way. Someone has to take the blame. I could recreate a report taking out Fox, but I don't think it would pass a criminal investigation. They'd tear it apart, you know they would."

"Mm," Harry agreed. "I know you're good, but I don't think you could recreate it either. Not to that level."

"How would you feel if the team were using me as the fall guy?"

"I'd hate it," he said instantly. "I'd rather take the blame myself than let you." She quickly pressed a kiss to his lips before her brow furrowed in thought.

"The only other option I can see is to forget it. Remove the evidence and simply forget it. But that would mean that we're just as bad as the people who were condoning torture in the first place."

"We can't let it go," Harry said.

"I know," Ruth said. "I can't let seven people be tortured. I can't have that on my conscience."

"Yes, and I think everyone on the grid would agree with you." The silence spread out between them. "Look into it. Think if you can find another way around this. If not, I'll tell Adam that we'll do it."

"Okay," Ruth replied. Harry settled down next to her, their legs entwined around each other. "I've been thinking about something else. Less serious than torture scandals though."

"What?"

"I don't want to move into your house," she said quietly.

"Why?" he asked heartbroken. He thought they had been making progress, to hear her say she didn't want it made him feel devastated.

"No, I can tell you're taking this the wrong way," she said putting her hand on his arm. "What I meant is, I love my house. It took me a long time to find a house that really felt like home. So I'd like us to live here, rather than me moving in with you. If that's okay?"

He stroked her hair and was about to speak when she carried on. "Look, you only ever go home to feed Scarlet anyway. But if you don't want…"

"Ruth, I'd live in a cardboard box if it would make you happy," he said with a smile. She kissed him slowly and when they parted she was smiling.

"You don't mind?"

"Of course I don't," he said. "Come here." She smiled before kissing him and it was a long time before they came up for air.

* * *

><p>It was late afternoon the next day when Harry called a meeting. Ruth wasn't happy about what he was going to say but Adam had insisted it was the right thing to do. Harry explained that he was going to expose the documents to the DG, using Fiona as Fox. There was instant uproar in the room which Adam quelled with simply a look.<p>

"Everyone, I don't like it, but I know she wouldn't mind doing this to bring these documents to light," Adam said.

"I want it completely understood that she had no part in this whatsoever," Harry said. "I do not want the people who knew her to think any less of her at all."

"Of course Harry," Jo said, nodding. Everyone agreed but the silence was not a happy one.

"Adam are you sure?"

"Do it Harry," Adam replied. "It's the right thing to do. We all know that."

"Okay," Harry said. "I'll send copies to the PM, the Home Secretary and have a meeting with the DG. I'll brief you tomorrow. Hopefully we'll get back to catching proper terrorists soon."

"Harry can you call me when…" Adam asked.

"Sure," Harry said. "Well, I should go. I am going to have hours worth of meetings for the rest of the evening, but that's no reason for you all to stay here." Harry got up and quickly left the room. Everyone followed suit except for Ruth and Adam.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"I don't like it," Ruth replied. "I can't think of anything else."

"I want to ask you something," Adam said. "If it were a case of protecting Harry, would you claim responsibility?"

She paused for a moment while she considered it. Then she smiled because the answer was so clear to her. "Yes I would."

Adam watched her for a long time. "You love him don't you?"

"Adam…"

"Just make the most of it Ruth," he said. "You never know what might be around the corner." With that rather depressing thought Adam left and Ruth was deep in thought. She knew he missed Fiona terribly, but in a way he was right. You never knew what was coming.

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><p><strong>No one has seemed to remember that in 5-6 Ruth's replacement was murdered. I have no idea how I'm going to deal with that now 5-5 is out of the way.<strong>


	17. Chapter 17

** Thank you** **for all the wonderful suggestions. Hope this is okay, as well as going with the plot. After this chapter it'll be focused much more on HR once again.**

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><p>"How did it go?" Ruth asked at four in the morning as Harry came in.<p>

"Badly," Harry admitted. "Although I did get the very great pleasure of knowing Mace was being woken at two a.m. to go to prison."

"I can only imagine the satisfaction you would have got from that," Ruth said with a smile.

"You didn't have to wait up for me, I've been hours," Harry said as he got into bed next to her without bothering to undress. She inclined her head towards him but didn't want to answer. "Oh."

"What?"

"Are you having trouble sleeping?" he asked, a hand on her hip comfortingly.

"The truth is I can't seem to sleep well when you're not here," she admitted. "I've slept alone for years, but somehow I can't manage it anymore."

"I guess I should take that as a compliment," he said with a smirk.

"It is," she replied. She kissed him soundly before leaning into his chest.

"By the way, starting the day after tomorrow were going to have an extra five or six people. We are playing host to four Saudi Princes for a few days and we need extra support."

"Why? Its just visiting dignitaries."

"Apparently one of them is being paid by Al Queda, but we have no idea which one. We need to find out which."

"Oh good," Ruth said sarcastically. "And just when things were getting boring." He chuckled into the crook of her neck, kissing her again.

Do you want a lie in tomorrow? I've got to get up in a couple of hours but…"

"No," he said. "I need to be in."

"Okay," Ruth said. "Goodnight then." Harry was asleep almost instantly but Ruth watched him for a few minutes before closing her eyes. She enjoyed watching him when he was most relaxed. It didn't happen often. "I love you." She enjoyed saying that even when he couldn't hear her. It felt good to let her guard down to someone she completely trusted. It was a relatively new feeling for her, one she enjoyed immensely.

* * *

><p>The next two days passed relatively quietly until the grid was swamped with newcomers. To Ruth's eyes they were mostly superfluous, but when they suddenly found six suspected terrorists had been sneaked into the country everyone was quickly needed desperately.<p>

Something was bothering Ruth so she stayed later than anyone else that night. She had spent the late hours searching through her computer, why she couldn't reason even to herself. Then something hit her. She'd vanished for less than five minutes to get something to eat over lunch, and yet her CPU had still been incredibly active. She had a very strong suspicion that her computer had been hacked into, how she had no idea. She always locked it, she was incredibly conscious of it. Looking into it she found a file had been downloaded but she couldn't discover what or where. An unnamed label and the time were there but she couldn't get any more information about it. It was infuriating. Her phone ringing brought her back to her senses as she had been staring at her computer screen.

"Ruth, I know you're a hard worker but I'd like you home at some point tonight."

"Yeah, I'm on my way," Ruth said. She didn't want to discuss her suspicions over the phone anyway.

* * *

><p>"Harry, I think my computer at Thames House has been hacked into," she said the moment she opened her front door.<p>

"That's impossible," Harry said.

"Well, I'd assume so too, but something isn't right. I know it. There's a downloaded file on my terminal which wasn't me."

"Get Malcolm to have a look at it tomorrow," Harry said passing her a glass of wine. "Are you sure?"

"One hundred per cent," she said. "That's why I stayed there so long. I wanted to check it without anyone watching over me."

"Bloody hell, is there no one we can trust anymore?" Harry said.

"I want to work from home tomorrow. I'll get more done if I'm not looking over my shoulder every second."

"Okay," Harry said after a moments consideration.

"I'll set up a secure connection and I'm sure with Malcolm's help it'll be fine."

"Yes," he said. "I'm sure that'll be fine."

"Oh!" Ruth said changing the subject as a little Jack Russell came into the kitchen. "I guess you really do live here now," she said with a smile, scratching Scarlet's head. "How did Fidget take to the new house guest?"

"He's curled up on the sofa ignoring Scarlet superbly," Harry said with a smile.

"Good."

* * *

><p>Ruth was working at home the next morning while Malcolm was trying to find her hacker whenever he had a spare five minutes. It was proving tricky. Anyway, at the moment they had bigger problems to worry about, with suspected bombers running around London as well as the Saudi trade centre reception which had just started.<p>

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. She considered ignoring it, after all she was busy, but then it came again, louder this time. Sighing, she got up to answer it.

"Neil, what are you doing here?" she asked in surprise. "Aren't you busy at Thames House?"

"Yes but I just wanted a quick word with you, can I come in?"

"A word about what?" Ruth asked cautiously. She never got her answer. He lunged towards her and she felt an incredible pain through her stomach as a knife plunged into her. Then he stabbed her a second time just before she crumpled to the floor. She knew at that moment that he was going to kill her. She closed her eyes and stilled acting as if dead and waiting for the final blow when a phone rang. Ruth realised it was her mobile but kept her eyes closed and perfectly still. The noise seemed to bring Neil to his senses and he left, thinking that she wouldn't have much time left if she wasn't dead already. Ruth forced herself not to flinch as he dropped the knife on the floor beside her. She almost felt her front door close and she had one thought in mind.

**_Get to the phone._**

She clasped a hand over the first stab wound to try and stop some of the more serious bleeding and crawled into the kitchen. She knew she'd left the phone on the kitchen table, she just needed to get there. Ignoring the amount of blood dripping onto her hall carpet, she focused on moving forward and trying to block out the incredible pain running through her. Breathing heavily her fingers found it just as it started ringing again. Collapsing on the floor, she answered it and never had she been more relieved to hear Harry's voice.

"The Saudi Trade Centre has been taken by armed terrorists. I need you here Ruth."

"Harry, get me an ambulance," she breathed.

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><p><strong>Don't hate me!<strong>


	18. Chapter 18

"Harry, get me an ambulance," she breathed.

"Don't hang up," he said immediately. He'd never beat midday traffic to get to her so he wasn't going to try. He picked up his desk phone and called through to Jo. "Jo, get an ambulance to Ruth's house now. Keep on the phone to dispatch and harangue them to get to her as quick as possible." He barely waited for her to agree before talking to Ruth again. "What's happened?"

"I've been stabbed… the stomach twice," she said with difficulty, breathing heavily.

"Who?" Harry asked quickly. He needed to keep her talking for as long as possible.

"Neil. It must have been him getting something off my database. I don't know where he went though. Oh God, this hurts."

"I know, but Ruth, you have to keep talking to me. An ambulance is on its way, and I'm just going to call through to Adam and tell him to get after Neil, okay?" he said with a forced calm at complete odds with his racing heart and the fear in his bloodstream. He relayed the message to Adam and then turned back to his mobile. "Ruth? Ruth! Talk to me!"

"I'm here," she breathed in a horribly quiet voice. "Still here." He left his office and walked up to Jo's desk all the while trying to keep Ruth talking.

"You have to push hard on the wound," he said.

"I know," she breathed. "It hurts so much though."

"Keep doing it," he said.

"Ambulance three minutes away," Jo said. Harry nodded to show he'd heard.

"Hold on Ruth," he said. "I'll meet you at the hospital."

"Don't you have… Saudi's and terrorists to deal with?"

"God, you're far more important," Harry said sincerely. "Tell me something. Anything you can think of, you have to keep talking."

"The only thing I can think of… is we're going to have to replace the carpet in the hall," she said and he could hear a slight smile in her voice. "Got so much blood on it, it'll have to go."

"I never liked that carpet anyway," he said. He heard her breathe out in what could have been a laugh.

"Harry there's something… I have to tell you."

"No," he said firmly. "You're not to tell me anything at all, because nothing is going to happen to you. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, but just in case… in case I don't make it."

"No Ruth, you're going to make it. Trust me."

"I don't have the energy to argue," she said. "Where's the… ambulance?"

"Jo?"

"On her street," Jo said firmly.

"You'll make it Ruth," he said. "They're seconds away."

"Good," she breathed. "I feel very light-headed you know?"

"Do you know how much blood you've lost?" he asked practically, half fearing the answer.

"A lot," she said unhelpfully. "Oh thank God. Paramedics are…"

"No, no, no, no, no," Harry said quickly as her voice completely vanished. "Don't give up. Fight it."

"Mm," was the only response he got. "Can't… love you."

"No!" He kept talking but there was no response from her. Then the phone line went dead.

"Jo, which hospital?"

"St Thomas's," Jo replied.

"Right, Adam's in charge of the Saudi trade centre," Harry said as he headed towards the pods. "Everything else can wait."

* * *

><p>Harry had broken about fifteen different driving laws to get to the hospital but he was beyond caring. He rushed into the hospital and quickly asked the receptionist for Ruth Evershed.<p>

"Only immediate family," came the perfunctory reply.

Harry glared at her and began his rant about how it was a matter of national security and he desperately needed an update on her. As he continued this rant he realised that he was intimidating the receptionist who couldn't be any more than twenty two. She actually looked quite scared of him, but if it got him information on Ruth he didn't care. The woman looked on her computer database, hurriedly clicking through to her entry.

"Okay, I have her here, she arrived only about ten minutes ago. Currently she's just been moved into the operating room for emergency surgery. I don't know anymore."  
>"Thank you," Harry said sincerely. "Where can I go to get more information from her doctor? Or surgeon? What floor is she on?"<p>

"Third," the woman replied. "I'll patch it through that she has… family waiting."

"I'd appreciate that, thank you." Harry left and quickly took the lift to the third floor. She had to be alright, she just had to be.

* * *

><p>Four hours later Harry was still waiting for news. He was going insane, so for lack of anything better to do, he called Adam at the grid. "How is everything?"<p>

"We've stopped the seige," Adam said. "It was the Israelis."

"And Neil?"

"Killed himself rather then let himself be taken by us. He took cyanide."

"Bloody coward," Harry cursed under his breath.

"How's Ruth?" Adam asked.

"I don't know," Harry said. "Undergoing emergency surgery at the moment. I don't know any more which I suppose is good news, because if she was dead I'm sure I would have been told by now."

"Yes," Adam said firmly, trying to be reassuring.

"God, Adam, I don't know what to do here," he said quietly.

"She'll be okay," Adam replied. "You've just got to wait it out."

"Mr Pearce?"

"Bye," Harry said to the phone putting it down without preamble. "How is she?" Harry asked the doctor immediately.

"She's going to be okay," he said nodding. Harry let out the breath he'd been holding, the relief was unreal. "We've repaired her stomach and within time she will make a full recovery."

"That's good," Harry said.

"There is some bad news though," the doctor said.

"Go on."

"She was five weeks pregnant. I'm sorry but we couldn't save the baby. She's miscarried as a result of her injuries."

"Oh my God," Harry said almost falling into his seat. He hadn't known, had she? They'd lost their child as a result of this attack on her. How much more was she going to go through?

"Do you want to see her?"

"Please," Harry said. "Is she conscious?"

"No, but it shouldn't be too long before she wakes up." Harry nodded. "Follow me." Harry did, feeling like he was in a nightmare and he just wanted to wake up. It didn't take long before he opened the door to her hospital room, seeing her attached to several machines. But she was breathing on her own, which was a good sign. He sat next to her and grabbed her hand tightly. "I'll leave you two alone," the doctor said. Harry nodded, never taking his eyes from Ruth's face. He kissed her hand and waited until she opened her eyes. He'd be here all night if he had to be, he wanted to be here when she woke up.


	19. Chapter 19

**Thanks for all the great reviews. Here's the next part...**

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><p>Ruth could vaguely feel consciousness returning to her. She felt groggy and slow witted, but after a moment she forced herself to open her eyes. Things came into focus slowly and she realised she was in a hospital room.<p>

"Ruth?" she turned her head and focused on Harry who was staring at her. "Can you hear me?"

"Yes," she said as she felt the dull pain go through her. She wondered how many painkillers she was currently on. "I'm guessing I'm still alive then?"

"Yes," Harry said with a smile. "Its good to see you awake."

"How bad is the damage?"

"You'll make a full recovery," Harry said with a forced smile.

"You're not telling me something," Ruth said looking at his face. She knew him so well, she could tell.

"The doctor told me something," Harry said, gripping her hand tightly. "You were pregnant."

She closed her eyes as what he was saying sunk in. "Were? You mean…"

"You miscarried. Because of the damage done in the attack," he said quietly. "I'm so sorry." She closed her eyes and he could see the pain on her face and felt terrible that he was the one tell her this. But the other option was having a nameless faceless doctor tell her, and he knew that she'd rather hear it from him. "Did you know you were pregnant?" he asked quietly. He didn't want to criticise her, but he would have liked to have thought she would have confided in him.

"I didn't know," she said sadly. "I thought it was possible but I hadn't felt brave enough to take the test. I would have told you but I was scared."

"Scared of what?"

"How you'd react mostly," she said, shaking her head sadly. "I was just scared Harry."

"I'd have been happy," he said quietly. "Honestly."

She smiled a sad smile and gripped his hand tighter. "I can't believe I've lost it."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"When can I get out of here?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Tomorrow afternoon at the earliest," he said. "You lost an awful lot of blood and you are not going back to work until next week, I insist."

"Bloody man," she said with a slight smile. "Can you get them to lower my medication? I feel all fuzzy. I'd rather have a bit of pain than feel this disjointed."

"Sure," Harry said. "What else can I do?"

"Have you told the team I'm okay?"

"Yes," he said. "Jo in particular was worried about you. Before you ask, no I haven't mentioned the baby."

"Keep it that way please," she said. "It'd be different if I was still pregnant but… Just keep it private. Between me and you."

"I thought you'd want that," he said, nodding. "Never be afraid to tell me anything Ruth. Even if it were the worst thing in the world, and you being pregnant could never be that. But if it were, I'd rather hear it from you."

"Okay," she said. "You should go home and get some sleep."

"I don't want to leave you alone," he said.

"I'll be fine," she said with a small smile. It was at least partly genuine. "I'll be asleep again soon. I'd rather you in a comfy bed than sleeping in that chair all night, which you probably would have done if I hadn't woken up."

"Of course I would."

"What happened to Neil?"

"He killed himself," Harry said.

"That bastard," she said. "He could have killed himself before skewering me on the end of a knife and making me lose my child." She let go of his hand and brushed her tears away.

"Don't ever scare me like that again," he said forcefully.

"I'll do my best," she said. "Go home."

"Okay," he said. He got up and kissed her lips softly, and he could tell she was fighting to keep her emotions in check. She probably wanted him to leave so she could do something as normal as cry. "Its okay to cry," he said.

"I know," she said. "I just… don't know how to feel really."

"I'll see you first thing tomorrow."

"Yes," Ruth said as she settled down in the pillows. "Kiss me again." He smiled slightly and did what she asked.

"I'll get your medication lowered."

"Thank you." He closed the door quietly and as soon as she was alone she rolled over onto her side, ignoring the pain in her stitches and curled up tightly. She let the tears fall. She'd lost her child. She hadn't even been sure she had been carrying but now she knew for a fact that she had lost her baby, she felt devastated. She never wanted Harry to see her as weak so she had tried to hold herself together as he told her the thing she most dreaded to hear. Now she was alone she let herself cry, let all her emotion out without any fear of being overheard. The pain from her knife wounds gave her something to focus on. A centre to the pain she was feeling. An emptiness that would not vanish.


	20. Chapter 20

Ruth was still curled up on her side when a doctor came in. "Your partner said you requested to lower your pain medication?" She sat up and nodded once. The doctor adjusted one of her machines and then turned to her again. "I take it he told you about your miscarriage?"

"Yes," Ruth said briefly. "Will it affect me? If I ever want another child I mean?"

"There is no medical reason you can't carry to full term," the doctor said.

"Good," Ruth replied. "That's good. I wanted to know."

"Understandable," the doctor said. "I want you to know that I did everything I could to save your baby, it was out of my control. I am sorry for you."

"The moral being don't get in the way of crazy knife wielding psychopaths when I think I might be pregnant." The doctor looked at her with a sad look on his face. "When can I get out of here?"

"Tomorrow if you're insistent," the doctor said. "Although I wouldn't recommend it. And if you do go home, you are on strict bed rest."

"I'll listen, if it means going home," Ruth said. "Harry'll look after me," she added with half a smile.

"Yes I think he might," the doctor said. "Our receptionist was in a state of nervous shock when he was through with her. He can be very intimidating." Ruth smiled slightly and ten closed her eyes. She needed some sleep.

* * *

><p>Harry unlocked their front door and hated what he saw as the door swung open. Blood was everywhere. The knife that she'd been stabbed with was the only thing missing. As he gingerly stepped through the hallway to the kitchen he could see where she had crawled to the phone. There were bloody fingerprints on their kitchen table too, where she had reached for it. The amount of dried blood on the floor made it quite difficult to see how she'd even made it to the hospital. But she had, he reminded himself. She was going to be fine. He felt a surge of sadness when he thought of the child they had just lost. He would love her to be pregnant, it would be one of the most incredible things in the world but at the moment, his greatest feeling was relief that she was going to be okay.<p>

Before going to bed he decided to clean the kitchen tiles. He couldn't bear seeing her blood everywhere. Admittedly nothing could be done about the carpet in the hall but he'd have that replaced first thing tomorrow. By the time he'd finished, he was exhausted. He washed the remnants of her blood off his hands and then went upstairs to bed.

* * *

><p>"Apparently you want to go home," Harry said as he appeared in Ruth's hospital room.<p>

"You knew I would," she said.

"Yes," he replied. "How are you?" he added, moving to kiss the top of her head.

"I ache," she said honestly. "I forgot to ask yesterday, did Ros get out of the trade centre okay?"

"Yes, she was fine."

"Good," Ruth said. "Did you bring me some clothes? I don't really want to leave hospital in this," she said indicating her hospital gown. Harry nodded and handed her a bag she hadn't spotted before. "I'll get changed, can you track down my discharge papers?"

"Yes," Harry said. He knew she should stay in hospital for a few more days but he also knew that arguing with her was pointless. By the time he came back she was dressed and looked ready to go home. The doctor was strongly advising against this, but Ruth wasn't listening. She signed her name and then raised her eyebrows as Harry had been watching her. "Shall we go?" Harry nodded and with an arm around her waist led her to the car.

* * *

><p>When they were at the house Ruth saw the fresh carpet and turned to Harry with a knowing look. "I didn't want you to see it when you came home," he admitted.<p>

"That was fast," she said with a smile. She sat on the sofa, and no sooner had she sat then there was a knock on the door. Harry moved quicker than she did, not that she had the inclination anyway. Harry unlocked the door to see a woman in her mid to late sixties whom he didn't recognise.

"Who are you?" she said.

"Who are you?" Harry countered quickly.

"I got a call from St Thomas's hospital yesterday saying my daughter was in critical condition," she said. "Yet when I go there, they say she's already discharged herself. Which shouldn't really surprise me, she never did know what was good for her."

"You're Ruth's mother," Harry said trying to hold back his first instinct to slam the door in her face.

"That still doesn't answer who you are?" Elizabeth said.

"I'm her partner," Harry said.

"Can I come in?" Harry didn't think he could reasonably refuse, so he moved aside and Elizabeth came in. Harry followed her through to the living room where Ruth was sitting on the sofa, looking as still as a statue.


	21. Chapter 21

"What are you doing here?" Ruth asked in a harsh voice. One Harry never hoped to hear from her again.

"You had emergency surgery," Elizabeth said. "Do you think I wouldn't care? The hospital called me," she added at the unasked question.

"I knew I should have updated my emergency contact," Ruth said under her breath. "I don't want to talk to you. Please leave."

"You heard her," Harry said firmly.

"I've taken a three hour train to get here, and that's all you can say to me?" Elizabeth said the surprise on her face clear.

"Mother, there's a reason I don't call you," Ruth said. "I don't want to speak to you."

"Oh my God, is this still about what happened when you were sixteen?" Elizabeth said.

"What happened?" Ruth said incredulously. "I was raped and my own mother chose to believe my attacker over me. That's what happened. I will never forgive you for that. Get out of my house."

Harry moved and gripped Elizabeth's arm tightly, intending to lead her out of the house.

"Oh so you have a bodyguard now do you? Isn't he a bit old for you?

"You want to know something?" Ruth said, standing up. "He has shown me more love and respect in the last few months, than you have in my entire life. Leave."

"Ruth, it was twenty years ago," Elizabeth said, a note of desperation in her voice.

"Yes, I know. And I can see it as clearly as if it happened yesterday. As much as I hate to admit it, I will never get over this."

"I think its time you left," Harry said pulling her into the hallway. Elizabeth stood outside the door looking at Harry with a strange, almost questioning look there. "How could you not believe her?" Harry asked with disgust. "She was only sixteen. The most horrific thing happened to her and her own mother called her a liar and a whore. How can you live with yourself?"

"Look, I…"

"I don't need to hear it," Harry said, shaking his head. "If, God forbid, something like this happened to my daughter, and she confided in me, I'd probably end up being arrested for murder, because he wouldn't live after he'd hurt my child like that. Ruth still has nightmares about it, did you know that? When she told me what her stepbrother did to her, she had a brief look in her eye. She was expecting me to disbelieve her. Because before, everyone else had done. Even if one day she does forgive you, I never would. I see everyday the ghosts that she's living with, and its at least partly your fault."

"I'm sorry."

"Are you really?" Harry asked. "Or are you just saying something to try and make things better?"

"You'll only be temporary anyway," Elizabeth said. "She never has long lasting relationships anyway."

"Because she can't trust anyone," Harry said. "That's why and I don't blame her. You shouldn't either. Don't come back unless she asks to see you." Harry didn't wait for a reply, instead he closed the door and turned to see Ruth who had clearly heard the whole conversation.

"Thank you," she said with half a smile.

"I'm not going to stand here and let her insult you," Harry said. She smiled and closed the distance between them. She rested her head against his shoulder as his arms wrapped around her. Her body was soft and warm, moulding to his perfectly.

"You were wrong though," she said quietly. "You said I don't trust anyone. I trust you."

"Good," he said. They stayed that way in the hall for a while until Ruth felt Harry's chest shaking slightly. He was crying.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm scared," he admitted. "Scared you're going to put up walls and hide in your shell because of what happened. I want you to let me in."

"I'll do my best," she said looking deep into his eyes. "I don't want to push you out."

"Good," he said. She reached up for him and kissed him, a soft and gentle kiss, full of hope and comfort. "Mm, I think I, going to go to sleep," Ruth said. Harry wasn't surprised, and knew it was her medication so he helped her upstairs and she slept almost instantly. He wrote her a quick note to explain that he would be at Thames House and then kissed her sleeping lips briefly.

"I love you," he whispered, stroking her hair away from her face.

* * *

><p>She'd only just woken up when Harry came back. "God that smells good," she said as he passed her a plate of fish and chips. She was silent as she ravenously ate, eventually putting her empty plate on the floor. "That was fantastic, thank you."<p>

He smiled and got under the covers next to her. "Can I see?" he asked quietly. She knew what he meant and she unbuttoned her blouse slowly. Lifting up the fabric he saw a straight surgical cut across her stomach where they has clearly cut her open to save her life. "Does it hurt?"

"Yes." He traced just above it slowly, so he wasn't touching the wound. "Do you mind?"

"Mind what?"

"Well, I'll always have that scar now," she said. "I just thought you might… mind it."

"Don't be silly," he said. "You're beautiful, but I'm not in love with you for how you look. I love your mind, your heart, your soul. No scar will ever change that."

"Thank you." She turned and rested against his chest, and it took about five minutes for her to start crying for everything that had happened. For the child she had lost. He didn't ask her to stop, or say anything at all, instead he stroked her back and soothed her until all her tears had died out. He planted a feather light kiss on her temple and was surprised and pleased that she had a very restful night.

* * *

><p><strong>I have absolutely no idea where to go from here. Thanks for all the reviews! xxx<strong>


	22. Chapter 22

**Thanks for all the reviews. I hope no one minds the time jump I'm using here.**

* * *

><p>Harry woke up with a face full of fur. Fidget was resting on Ruth's shoulder and glaring at Harry. The cat seemed to sense that his owner wasn't well as yet and was almost growling at Harry. "Don't glare at me, I'm not the one who hurt her," he said scratching the cats head.<p>

"He's just protective of me," Ruth said. "A lot like you actually. Morning," she added, moving the cat and kissing him. It was a deep passionate kiss as her arms wrapped around him. She moaned slightly as her wound pressed against him and he instantly put a few inches of space between them. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said. "Very okay."

"No," he said.

"What?" she asked completely perplexed.

"You're not coming back to work."

"I didn't say anything of the sort," Ruth said indignantly.

"You had that look," he replied. She smiled and kissed him briefly.

"Fine," she said. "I'll stay home today, but tomorrow I'm coming in."

"I can live with that," he replied knowing that arguing was pointless. She smiled, pleased to have won the argument and then rolled over, promptly falling back to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Two years later.<strong>

"Harry, no," Ruth said firmly.

"Give me another option then," Harry said. "We have to stop this nuclear bomb from going off."

"I know," Ruth said. "But handing yourself over to the Russians… They will kill you."

"Not straightaway," he said. "I'm too important to just be shot as soon as they get hold of me."

"Oh, that makes me feel better," she said sarcastically. "By all means hand yourself over to be tortured to death!"

"Ruth, their families are in London. They have to know so we can stop this bomb. If it goes nuclear there will be so many thousands of deaths."

"I know that," she said. She threw herself in his arms and he held her tightly. The small part of him that he wouldn't even acknowledge to himself wondered if this was the last time he would ever hold her. "Just come back," she whispered. "Make sure you come back to me."

"I'll do my best," he said. She raised her head and he kissed her, hard and desperate. "I lo…"

"No," Ruth said, her hand covering his mouth. "You can say that when you come back."

"Okay then," he agreed. He brushed his lips against hers, softly this time and then left his office. She watched as he vanished from the grid, determined to do her utmost to see him alive again.

* * *

><p>"Ros, talk to me," Ruth said desperately into the phone.<p>

"Disarmed the bomb, its safe," Ros said. "Everything's okay."

"Good," Ruth said breathing a sigh of relief. "Have you heard from Harry? I can't get through to him."

"No," Ros said. "When was the last time anyone heard from him?"

"Not since he delivered himself to the Russians," Ruth said, trying hard not to panic. "What if…?"

"Don't think like that," Ros said instantly. "Get Malcolm on it, try to find him."

"Yes," Ruth said nodding. "I can't panic."

"Lucas and I will be back on the grid as soon as possible," Ros said. Ruth put down the phone without replying. She had to find him. She didn't know what she'd do if she lost him.

* * *

><p>A couple of hours later and there was still no progress. Harry seemed to have vanished from the face of the earth. "I have some news," Malcolm said behind her.<p>

"What?" Ruth asked turning around. The look on Malcolm's face spoke volumes. "Oh God what is it?" she asked in a much different voice.

"We have a video coming through. Its bad."

"How bad is bad?" Ruth asked. Malcolm moved to her keyboard and started typing something to bring the video through.

"I'm not at all sure if its genuine," Malcolm warned. Ruth watched in silence as the video booted up, showing Harry kneeling on the floor and surrounded by masked men.

"Can I leave a message? For my family?" he asked, and she knew that was his voice, one hundred percent.

"No messages," a voice said. The chanting continued and Ruth jumped as a gunshot rang out loudly. Harry collapsed and the video zoomed in to show a pool of blood flowing from his head as the catcalls continued.

"Oh my God!" Ruth cried out, her hand flying to her mouth.

"I thought you'd want to know before I brief the team." Ruth nodded her thanks but all she could see was a dead Harry. The tears were starting, she could feel them burning her eyes and she quickly left the grid heading towards the ladies. She wanted to cry in private.


	23. Chapter 23

Ruth was drying her eyes in the bathroom when the door opened. "I'm sorry," Jo said quietly.

"Do you think it's a real video?" Ruth asked.

"I don't know," Jo said. "Even if it's a fake it can't have been easy for you to see. Especially in your condition."

Ruth whipped around and glared at Jo. "How did you know?"

"Recently he's been even more protective of you than usual," Jo said. "I guessed you might be pregnant."

"I'm not far gone," Ruth said. "And after last time… I just didn't want to tell anyone until I started to show." Ruth had confided in her friend about her miscarriage a while before. "Jo, what am I going to do if he's…"

"I can't give you any comforting words here," Jo said. "But don't lose hope yet. Malcolm is tearing that video apart." Ruth nodded. "Seriously, you need to keep calm. Or as much so as possible."

"I know," she said. "Look, I'll try and find out residences that he might have been taken to. Even if he's…" she paused before feeling brave enough to voice it. "...Dead, I'd still like to find his body." Jo nodded as Ruth left the bathroom feeling unaccountably sad. She couldn't bring herself to tell Ruth that Malcolm thought the video was genuine.

* * *

><p>"Moscow on Thames," Ruth said loudly. "Sarkosy has a million pound mansion there, empty at the time of Harry's abduction."<p>

"Brilliant," Lucas said. "Get a forensics team there now." Ruth nodded as she picked up the phone. She spent the next hour arguing with them about who should get the blood results first. Needless to say, she won the battle and checked it against the MI5 database.

"Its not Harry's," she breathed. "Oh thank you god." The blood work was still going through the databases but her relief that Harry hadn't died there was tangible. Of course he still could be dead, but she couldn't focus on that. As it ran through the system she rested a hand on her still flat stomach. "Your dad could do with a bit of luck today," she whispered. It was too soon to feel a kick but she liked to think that their child was listening anyway. It didn't take long for the first match. Sarkosy had died there. There were two more matches, but they were for low level body guard types. Not worth worrying over.

* * *

><p>"The video's fake," Malcolm said as he rushed into the meeting room. "There's too many inconsistencies in it, even though it was only recorded on a mobile phone, I'm sure of it." Everyone looked at Ruth as she breathed a sigh of relief. "And I've found something else. An Indian nationalist placing a call to an American on a highly encrypted line. Both in London. I have the recording here. Malcolm pressed play on the tape recording and everyone listened.<p>

"The package?"

"I've got him," the Indian voice said. "No luck as yet with the information."

"Put some pressure on him. We might have to involve the woman."

"Do all you can. Rough him up a bit."

"Okay." The call ended in a blur of static and Ruth felt empty. "Play that again." Malcolm did as she concentrated on the Indian voice. "That's Mani Singh."

"The Indian head of operations?" Ros asked.

"I'm sure of it," Ruth said. "Which I would guess means he's after the uranium."

"What uranium?" Lucas asked.

"I'd only been in the service for about a year, maybe a little more," Ruth said. "Harry had to go on a secret operation to Baghdad, he asked me to go with him. Members of the government and the CIA wanted to smuggle weapons grade uranium into Iraq. To vindicate the war."

"That was Harry?" Lucas asked surprised.

"No, of course not," Ruth said. "We went there to try and discover what they were doing. We got the proof and Harry took it above all their heads to the prime minister. Plenty of people thought this was the right way to do things, but we won out in the end. Harry and I smuggled the uranium back out of Iraq and we hid it."

"God," Malcolm said shaking his head slightly. "So the woman in the conversation?"

"Its me, its got to be," Ruth said. "They didn't like me over there. A lot of people thought I had an unnatural influence over Harry." No one said anything in the slightly uncomfortable silence for which she was grateful.

"Do you know where the uranium is?" Jo asked. Ruth nodded.

"Tell us, then we can move it," Ros said. "Even if they break Harry they wouldn't get their hands on it."

Ruth debated this internally for a few minutes then nodded. After all, she trusted everyone in this room. "Its in Greenwich. An abandoned shelter from the cold war years."

"Okay," Lucas said. "Ros and I will go there, you three work on finding Harry, Mani or this unknown American. Any ideas on him Ruth?"

"No," she said. "the Americans were all for it. It could be any of them."

"Okay, we'll get after the Uranium then," Ros said. Everyone got up except Ruth who stayed staring at the table.

"Are you feeling okay?" Jo asked.

"Yes," Ruth said instantly. "I'm not morbidly ill." Jo refrained from replying, thinking silence was the best answer.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for all the lovely reviews so far. Hope you liked this installment.<strong>


	24. Chapter 24

**Reviews dipped for the last chapter, I do hope people are still enjoying this.**

* * *

><p>"Lucas, give me an update," Ruth said over the comms.<p>

"It isn't here," he said.

"That's impossible, it has to be," Ruth said. "I know it was there."

"No radioactive particles on the reader either," Ros added. "So either someone has already found it or…"

"Harry moved it himself," Ruth said, thinking she should have guessed that anyway. "Stupid bloody man. He doesn't trust anyone does he?" No one answered that comment. "Get back here and we'll work on another plan then. Malcolm's traced the phone call to about 2 kilometres in west London but we can't narrow it down any further."

"Right," Lucas said, sighing. Clearly this wasn't going as they had hoped.

* * *

><p>Ros and Lucas were due back when Ruth turned to Malcolm, considering something.<p>

"You've known Harry a lot longer than I have," she said slowly.

"Yes," Malcolm replied. "He's one of my oldest friends."

"Right, and how long do you think he'd hold up? If they were torturing him for the information?"

"I don't know," Malcolm said. "But he'd have to be in an awful lot of pain to forget why he does this job. I can't imagine it being easy to get the information from him."

"Yes, that's what I thought," Ruth said. "Which means they'll be after me for two reasons, firstly because I might break and secondly because of my connection to Harry."

"Don't worry, we won't let them get you," Jo said as she passed.

"No, I think we should," Ruth said. "Get me fitted with a tracker and a mike, or something. So you can hear me. Then when I persuade Harry to tell them where it is, you can hurry along and get there first."

"That's risky," Malcolm said. "What if they have scanning equipment and you lose the tracker? Then we'll have lost you for no good reason."

"You're not doing it," Jo interrupted firmly.

"Not doing what?" Ros asked as she emerged from the pods. Ruth explained and the blonde considered for a moment. "It could work."

"You're not doing it," Jo repeated. Ruth ignored her.

"Do you have any equipment that has a really good shot at avoiding detection?" Ruth asked Malcolm.

"I'll do the best I can," he said, hurrying off to look in his stores of equipment.

"Ruth, you can't do this," Jo said. Ruth stared at her. Didn't she understand that the man she loved had been captured by unfriendly forces? He could be being tortured right now, and they were debating this?

Lucas and Ros looked at the two women who were glaring at each other. "Is there something I'm missing?" Ros said swiftly.

"Jo is referring to the fact that I'm pregnant," Ruth said. "That's why she thinks I shouldn't go. Am I right?"

"Harry wouldn't want you to put yourself in danger," Jo said. "You know that."

"If we don't do something fast, my child won't have a father, I'm going," Ruth said.

"But…"

"Its her decision," Malcolm said, coming back with a handful of equipment.

"Thank you," Ruth said, feeling very grateful to him. "What've you got for me?"

"I've got a tiny GPS tracker, but if they scan you, it won't work."

"Fine," Ruth said nodding.

"This is ingenious," Malcolm said, his pride in his technology very clear. "Ear piece made of natural fibres, it'll work whatever happens, they'll never find it and similar with the mike. Unfortunately the trade off is we'll only be able to hear you. So if you don't speak, we won't know what's going on. A more powerful one we risk you being found with it."

"Thanks Malcolm," she said, putting the ear piece in.

"How are you planning on finding them."

"I'm hoping they'll find me as I go home. They'll be watching I'm sure of it."

"You seem very calm," Ros said.

"I'm not," she said shaking her head. "I just have to do something." She looked at her watch. "I should go."

"Do you want us to follow you?" Jo asked.

"No," she said shaking her head. "Its just one thing for them to see. If they see I'm being tailed they'll guess something's wrong."

"She's right," Ros said. "And as much as I don't like it, its our only chance of getting to Harry. Its not exactly secret about your relationship with him."

"I'm off then," Ruth said, worrying her lip as she left the grid as everyone watched her go. It wasn't exactly encouraging, the looks in their eyes as she left.

* * *

><p>On the way home she didn't know if she was being paranoid or if she was being watched. She got off the tube and felt slightly safer in the crowds of the London underground. She wouldn't be taken off the street surely.<p>

"Are you okay?" Jo said over the earpiece.

"Yes, waiting for the inevitable," Ruth said as she crossed the street, heading for home.

"Any news on Harry?"

"No," Jo said. "I'm sure if he was dead we'd know by now."

"How wonderfully reassuring," Ruth said. She turned her head briefly and then turned to unlocked her front door. "I've got a suspected tail actually."

"Keep us posted." Ruth had unlocked the door but before she could close it she felt someone wrenching the door open and she screamed out of instinct even though she'd been expecting it. She felt powerful hands grab her and she didn't struggle too much. Her hands were quickly tied and she was forcefully led to a dark car across the street.


	25. Chapter 25

**Thanks everyone. Here's the action filled chapter...**

* * *

><p>Sure enough, she had been scanned and they'd found the GPS she had on her which had earned her a quick slap around the face before it had been dumped. It didn't take long for her to be reunited with Harry, even though she had planned for it to be under happier circumstances.<p>

"Let her go," Harry said forcefully. Ruth saw he was tied to the chair as she was led into the room. He didn't look too badly injured and she felt relief at that. Maybe they wouldn't hurt them too badly. "She has nothing to do with this, let her go."

"No, I think things have just started to get serious," Mani said with lightness as Ruth sat down. She however, was not tied to the chair.

"You're not dead then," Ruth said, feeling the relief even as she said it.

"So it seems," he said. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said with a smile.

"Why is she here?" Harry asked the man who Ruth recognised as Mani.

"You're not telling me what I want to know," Mani said. "She might be more amenable. Or on the other side, I could hurt her a bit and you might break first."

"Don't you dare hurt her," Harry said in a growl before he could stop himself. Mani smiled as if this was exactly what he wanted to hear.

"Ruth are you okay?" she heard in her ear from Jo. "Clear your throat if you're okay." She did and Harry looked at her curiously. She didn't know how to convey to him that someone was listening when Mani was watching.

"Miss Evershed, I'm looking for the uranium," Mani said pacing up and down in front of her. "The uranium that Harry has hidden from us. If he'd played ball, you'd be safe right about now, so this is really his fault."

"I can't tell you," Ruth said simply. "I can't tell you because I don't know where it is."

"Oh Ruth, I expected better from you," Mani said with disappointment. "The woman who reportedly can get into any institution globally. Yes, I've heard about you. No nations secrets are ever safe from you are they?"

"I'm good at my job," Ruth said. "I can't tell you what I don't know. It was in Greenwich but apparently Harry didn't trust me with the information and he moved it without telling me." Ruth looked at him, trying to convey without words that she didn't believe this. Harry looked hurt at her assumption, but she didn't have time to worry about that because she felt another slap around her face and she put her bound hands to her cheek which she knew was glowing red.

"So this is what you're resorting to is it Mani?" Harry said, absolutely furious. "Hitting women?"

"If you told me the truth Ruth would never have been in danger in the first place Harry," Mani said. He was about to say something else when his phone rang. He sighed and moved across to the other end of the room to speak.

Ruth whispered into her mike very quickly when his back was turned. "Jo, I'm in an abandoned warehouse, West London, on the third floor with Harry, we're both okay. Get Malcolm to intercept a call to Mani happening right now."

"We need that location Ruth," Ros said over the earpiece. "Get Harry to talk."

"Tell him," Ruth whispered to Harry. He looked at her half amused half astonished.

"They're listening?" he asked quietly. Ruth nodded. "You're brilliant," he said with a smile which she returned. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said with a smile. His eyes flickered to her stomach briefly. "Both fine," she added. "Have you been hurt?"

"I might have a couple of bruised ribs but I'm okay," he said. She nodded, unable to help the relief. Then he looked horrified as a thought struck him. "Ruth, I might have to let him hurt you a little. Otherwise he won't believe that I've turned so quickly."

"I know," she said. "I'll be fine. I was prepared for that."

"I'm sorry."

"Its okay," she said, smiling at him the way she always did as Mani came back.

"Time to get serious," Mani said. "I believe her, that she doesn't know where it is. But you do Harry." Ruth was dragged to her feet feeling Mani's hands on her shoulders . She felt terrified in spite of the fact this was semi planned. "So tell me where it is or I'll hurt her."

"What are you going to do to her?" Harry asked, and the fear was clear in his voice. Mani smiled an evil smile. "Wait, wait, wait," Harry said quickly. It was too late, Ruth groaned as she felt a punch land on her ribs.

"Norfolk," Harry said quickly.

"You're giving up very soon," Mani said. "Either this woman means so much to you, or you're lying to me."

"She's pregnant," Harry said. "You can't hurt her, please." Mani let Ruth go and she took her seat again, wincing at the slight movement. "Its in Norfolk, I'm telling the truth."

"Where in Norfolk?" Mani said.

"The coordinates are password protected on my phone," Harry said. "Bring it to me and I'll tell you."

"You better not be lying," Mani said as he backed out of the room.

"Oh God, are you okay?" Harry asked very concerned and annoyed that he was tied to a chair unable to move.

"Yes," she said through a whisper. "Ros, Norfolk. Harry, do you know the coordinates?"

"Yes," he said. He told her a list of numbers and she repeated it to Ros who was listening.  
>"Lucas and Jo are on their way," Ros said. "Malcolm has tracked you down from the phone call and I'm going to turn up with the cavalry in about five minutes, just hold on."<p>

"Good," Ruth said. She turned and looked at the door but they were alone. "Ros is on her way," Ruth said.

"The uranium?"

"Lucas and Jo," Ruth said in a breathless whisper.

"No matter what you say, when we get out of this you're getting checked out at hospital," Harry said. Ruth nodded, knowing arguing was pointless. At that moment Mani came in and passed Harry his phone.

"You're delaying," Mani said after a few moments when Harry still hadn't got the coordinates up. "Maybe I didn't make it clear that I can be a violent man when I need to be." Ruth groaned as she was pulled to her feet again.

"Hang on," Harry said. And then he saw the glint of a knife as Mani moved to hold it to Ruth's throat. "I'm getting it." Harry found it and held the phone out to Mani. After a moment Ruth felt the nick of the knife in her neck and gasped as she was let go again. She put her hands to her neck but she wasn't bleeding much. Then all of a sudden several things happened at once. A loud banging noise as the door was broken down, then several loud ringing gunshots as she hit the floor. When the noise stopped Ruth stood up and couldn't move an inch as she saw deep scarlet blood spreading over the white of Harry's shirt.


	26. Chapter 26

"No," Ruth whispered as the blood kept spreading. "Get these off me!" Ruth shouted indicating her bound hands. A nameless face cut the harsh plastic off of her wrists and she ran over to Harry. "Look at me," she said cradling his face.

"I always seem to forget how much it hurts to get shot," he said, his eyes sparkling at her. She smiled once, realising as she did so that he'd been shot in the shoulder, almost exactly where Tom Quinn had shot him five years ago. "Are you alright?"

"Course I am, don't worry about me," Ruth said as Ros cut him free from his ties, assuring him that an ambulance was on its way.

"You couldn't get a better shot?" Harry asked Ros, ignoring Mani's dead body on the floor.

"Come on Harry, you know my aim's better than that," Ros replied. "One of special forces missed Mani as he hit the floor."

"And got me instead," Harry said. "Perfect."

"Do not die on me," Ruth said firmly. "Do you understand me?"

"Of course I won't," Harry said, but in a horribly faint voice. "Can't leave you two alone can I?" Ruth smiled and then kissed him softly. Then she moved out of the way as paramedics came in and started to load him on a stretcher. She tried hard not to panic as his eyes closed. She had to keep calm. She rested a hand on her stomach, rubbing small circles on the fabric of her blouse.

"He'll be okay," Ros said. Ruth nodded, but she wasn't sure she believed it.

"Are you onto the person Mani was calling?" Ruth asked.

"He's being arrested right now." Ruth nodded and then left the room, planning to take the shortest possible route to the hospital.

* * *

><p>"So you want an ultrasound is that right?" an annoyingly peppy obstetrician said as she came into Ruth's hospital room.<p>

Ruth nodded. "Yes, I was punched in the ribs earlier. I just want to make sure everything's okay."

"Right," the doctor said. Ruth gasped as cold gel hit her stomach. She felt a smile as the noise of her baby's heartbeat filled the room.

"That's a good sound," Ruth said with happiness.

"Everything looks okay here," the doctor said. "You're about nine weeks along, does that sound about right?"

"Yes," Ruth said. "You're sure the baby's okay?"

"Absolutely. Do you want a picture?"

"Better had," Ruth said. "The father will want to see it."

"Just one thing though," the doctor said, wiping the gel from Ruth's stomach. "Your blood pressure is quite high."

"That'll be stress," Ruth said. "This little one's father is currently having a bullet extracted from his shoulder. I'll be calmer tomorrow when he's recovering."

"Okay, but do try to avoid anything strenuous or worrying."

"Yes, I don't plan on being kidnapped again." Ruth took the picture and smiled as she saw the very small presence of her child. Hers and Harry's child. There was a brief knock on the door and a surgeon came in. "How is he?" Ruth asked without preamble.

"We've extracted the bullet, and we're just closing him up," he said. "I thought you'd want an update."

"Thank you," Ruth said. "There'll be no long term damage?"

"No, he was lucky," the doctor said. "I have to get back in there."

"I'll be in the waiting room," Ruth said. "Can you tell me when he's out of surgery?"

"Of course," the surgeon said before leaving the room.

Ruth felt the relief crashing over her. He was going to be okay. That was the main thing.

* * *

><p>It was three in the morning when Harry woke up, in a lot of pain. He opened his eyes and felt relief when he saw Ruth asleep, her head resting on his hospital bed. He lifted a hand with significant effort and then brushed it through her hair. He tried using his voice and found it hard. Then he saw something which would have left him speechless even had he been able to talk. Clasped in Ruth's hand was an ultrasound picture. Their child. He took it from her and looked at the evidence that there was a baby who was half him and half her. He couldn't think of anything more perfect.<p>

"Ruth," he said in a harsh whisper.

"Mm?" she said still half sleeping.

"Ruth wake up," he repeated in a voice which sounded rusty.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Then when she focused on the hospital bed and saw him awake, she smiled. "You're here," she said quietly.

"I see our child," he said indicating the picture. "Is…?"

"I'm fine," she said quickly. "Both me and the little one are fine. I got checked out like you asked."

"Good," he said. "Give me a kiss." She moved and did what he asked, a soft and subtle kiss, full of time and hope. "Now go home."

"I can't," she said but he interrupted her.

"You are going to concentrate on growing my boy," he said with half a smile. "You can't get a good nights sleep on the side of my bed. So go home and sleep in a proper bed."

"Okay," Ruth said begrudgingly and he was amazed he'd won so fast. "It could be a girl though."

"Mm, and then I'd have two beautiful brunettes living with me, both of whom would be able to wrap me around their little finger," Harry said. "I'll take the boy." She laughed with the confidence of knowing that he'd be happy whatever the sex of their child and kissed him once more. "Go home," he said. "Get some sleep."

"Okay," she replied. "But only because I'm pregnant, otherwise I'd stay here all night."

"I know," he said quietly. Ruth moved to take the ultrasound picture but he held back. "Let me keep it." She nodded happily,

"I'll be back first thing," she said. Harry nodded and watched as she left. With his hand clasping the ultrasound picture, he slipped into an easy sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>I did consider having Harry's heart monitor flat line once Ruth had left but I had a feeling I'd be hunted down and shot. Hope you all like it!<strong>


	27. Chapter 27

Ruth woke up after a restless nights sleep. She never slept well when away from Harry, but in the circumstances she couldn't exactly blame him. As soon as she was dressed she got into her car, chewing on some toast and headed to the hospital. Knowing Harry, he'd want to get out of there as soon as possible.

* * *

><p>She opened the door of his hospital room and saw him sitting up, and felt her heart skip a beat as he was intensely studying the image of their child. "Morning," she said, closing the distance and kissing him briefly.<p>

"Hi," he said with a smile. "I forgot to ask last night about the uranium."

"Its safe," Ruth said. "Lucas and Jo have relocated it. There will be a report on your desk when you get back to work."

"Good," Harry said. "I wanted to talk to you."

"That sounds serious," Ruth said warily as she sat next to Harry.

"I was going to bring it up yesterday but then all hell broke lose," Harry said. "Catherine's coming to see me this weekend."

"Oh," Ruth said simply. "Right."

"I'd like her to meet you," he said quietly. Ruth nodded. Due to circumstances, Catherine hadn't come back to the UK very often, and the last time she'd been here Harry had gone to his ex-wife's house to see her and Ruth had been in charge of the grid. This meant that she had never actually met Harry's daughter.

"Does she know about me?" Ruth asked.

"Yes," Harry said. "I talk to her quite often, and your name does come up. We've been together a couple of years now after all. And she knows that I'm in love with you." Ruth smiled when he said that in spite of herself.

"I don't want her to feel like I'm replacing her mother," Ruth said. "I'm so much younger than you after all."

"That makes me feel great," he said sarcastically.

"I wouldn't like her to think I'm simply the next younger model," Ruth said, ignoring Harry's reply. "I want her to like me."

"She will like you," he said with confidence. "How could she not?" Ruth smiled but it was half hearted at best and she started worrying her bottom lip. "She's going to have a little brother or sister in just under seven months. She needs to meet you."

"I know," Ruth said. "Does she know I'm pregnant?"

"No," Harry said. "I didn't think it best to tell her over the phone."

Ruth nodded. "I can't deny I'd be a little bit heartbroken if she hates me." Harry didn't reply because he knew she needed to think this through, and anything he said would just make her thoughts more complicated. It was who she was, she needed to analyse everything she could.

"I'm going home today," he said lightly as she was deep in thought.

"Hm?" she said. And then what he said seemed to catch up with her. "Oh, you can't. You've just been shot!"

"I seem to remember you discharging yourself the morning after a knife attack?" Harry said. Ruth rolled her eyes but didn't argue. She leaned over him and kissed him softly. Then that kiss turned a bit deeper. She smiled into the embrace as his uninjured arm wrapped around her, pulling her as close as possible. Neither of them heard the door open, as involved with each other as they were.

"Oh for God's sake, stop acting like a couple of horny teenagers."

"Good to see you Ros," Harry said as Ruth sat down blushing profusely.

"I was just making sure you were okay," Ros said. "Clearly I needn't have worried. You seem to being looked after perfectly well."

"We were both kidnapped yesterday," Ruth reminded her.

Ros raised her eyebrow and then handed over a form. "I need you to sign this. Apparently my signature isn't good enough for the Home Secretary." Harry nodded and quickly read through it. He stiffly signed it with his right hand, flexing his fingers.

"Everything okay?" Ros asked, taking the form back.

"Yes, I'll shoot you in the shoulder and see how you like it," Harry said sarcastically. Ros smiled and left the room. Ruth turned to Harry and briefly kissed him.

"Get me out of here Ruth," he said.

"Stubborn man."


	28. Chapter 28

**Big thanks to everyone who read and reviewed, especially as the site hasn't been working over the past few days. Here's the next installment, I hope people enjoy it.**

* * *

><p>Ruth and Harry were curled up on the sofa together on Friday night. They were watching a mindless film while Harry was drinking whisky, Ruth tea. It was very comfortable.<p>

"When's Catherine's flight come in?"

"Ten tomorrow morning," Harry said stroking her hair. "I'm meeting her at the airport. Do you want to come?"

"I'll see how my morning sickness is," Ruth said accurately. Otherwise she didn't think her first impression on Harry's daughter would be a good one. "How's your shoulder?"

"Fine," he said with a smile. She was always so concerned for him and it touched him deeply. He kissed her forehead and then groaned as the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," Ruth said, hoping up from the sofa. She went into the hall and opened the door, very surprised to see Catherine standing there.

"Oh, I think maybe I've got the wrong house," Catherine said as she clearly hadn't expected someone like Ruth to answer the door.

"No you haven't," Ruth said. "You're Catherine right? Harry's daughter."

"Yes," the blonde said, slightly warily. "You're…? Ruth?"

"Come on in," she said nodding. Catherine was about to lift her suitcase when Harry appeared.

"Oh my God what are you doing here?" Harry said with a smile. He moved passed Ruth and hugged his daughter on the doorstep. "Come in," Harry said, hauling his daughters suitcase inside as Ruth shut the door behind them. "When you get an earlier flight you tell me," Harry said. "I wanted to pick you up."

"Well I'm here now," Catherine said, sitting down. She didn't look happy. Ruth could sense a fight brewing between Harry and his daughter, and she thought she better leave them to it.

"Catherine, its lovely to meet you," Ruth said. "I'm going to go for a bit. I'll be back later."

"No, you don't have to leave," Harry said.

"Catch up with your daughter," Ruth said firmly. She planted a brief kiss on Harry's cheek before leaving the house. Catherine watched and sighed as the door shut behind her.

"Its good to see you," Harry said honestly.

"So that's Ruth?" Catherine said indicating the way she'd left.  
>"Yes," Harry said shortly. He could also sense an argument coming, but he'd bear the brunt of it.<p>

"For Gods sake dad, she's my age! Not quite how I'd envisioned your new trophy wife!"

"Don't talk about her like that," Harry said quietly. "And she's not my wife." The tone of regret in that sentence was evident, and Catherine heard it.

"She's what? Thirty? What are you playing at?"

"I'm in love with her Catherine," Harry said softly. "And you seem to have made several assumptions about her, none of which have been based on fact."

"Dad…"

"Just by the way, she's thirty nine," Harry said. "Please, give her a chance before you judge her. Catherine, I know you blame me for ruining your parents marriage and its completely justified. But its not Ruth's fault. Please give her a chance."

"I don't even know why I came here," Catherine replied, getting to her feet.

"Catherine wait," Harry said firmly. Catherine pushed her father lightly, intending to leave the house when he groaned loudly. She whipped around and stared as he almost fell into the kitchen chair, breathing heavily.

"Dad?" she said in a whisper.

"I was shot there earlier in the week," he breathed, fighting the waves of pain going through him.

"Oh God," Catherine said horrified as blood started seeping through his shirt. "I'm so sorry, I didn't…"

"You didn't know," Harry said.

"I feel like such a spoilt brat," Catherine said. "Storming out just because I didn't get my own way, anyone would think I was fifteen again." Harry smiled as he unbuttoned his shirt.

"Can you get me a bowl of warm water and a flannel please," he said. Catherine nodded and hurried. By the time she'd sat back down Harry's breathing was back to relatively normal. He sponged the blood off of his chest as she watched.

"Ruth wasn't what I was expecting," Catherine said quietly, all of the challenge gone out of her. "I thought you'd go for someone more glamorous or showy. Like Elena Gavrik." Harry looked at his daughter, wondering what was behind those words. "Mum knew, the entire time. As kids her name was the worst thing we could have said."

"I married too young," Harry said. "I don't regret it, because I got you and your brother, but I was still too young. And Jane and I… we weren't well suited. But it took a long time to see it, what with me being stationed away in Berlin so frequently."

"And sleeping with other women," Catherine said critically.

Harry nodded, because he had absolutely no defence for that, and he never would. "I was a horrible husband," Harry said. "I love you and your brother, and people say it a lot, but in this job I really see what it means. I would die for either of you. If it meant keeping you safe, I'd sacrifice my life without thinking twice."

"Thank you," Catherine said sincerely. "Does Ruth know? About your past… indiscretions?"

"Not specifics," Harry said. "She didn't want to know any details. She knows I had several affairs, and to be honest I'm surprised she's still with me. I think…" he paused while considering it. "I think she puts more trust in me than I deserve."

"Where did you meet her?" Catherine asked, and Harry could tell that the initial fight had gone out of her.

"At work," Harry said and Catherine laughed. "It wasn't like that. She's very intelligent and I respected and admired her. I never thought she would want anything more to do with me. I'm glad I was wrong."

"What does she do? If you can tell me I mean," Catherine said, emptying the bloody water in the sink as Harry buttoned his shirt back up.

"She's an intelligence analyst," Harry said. "I think everyone in the service would agree, she's the best analyst MI5 has ever had."

Catherine smiled. "I'm sorry. I judged too quickly."

"She's wonderful, and she so wants to make a good impression on you," Harry said.

"And I just say such horrible things," Catherine said shaking her head. "Can I blame the long flight from Tel Aviv?"

"If you like," Harry said. He gripped his daughters hand tightly. "I'm glad you're here."

Catherine smiled and almost as if on queue, the door opened and Ruth came in. Harry didn't know whether it was because he knew her so well or because it was just obvious but he could tell she'd been crying. He half thought that must be her hormones because she wasn't usually this emotional.

"Hi," Catherine said, much more cheerfully.

"Its nice to meet you, finally," Ruth said smiling. "I just went for a walk," she added to Harry's unasked question. "Haven't you even made her a cup of tea yet?" Ruth asked. Harry shrugged. "Honestly, men," she said under her breath. "Would you like a tea or coffee?"

"Tea would be great," Catherine said. "Two sugars please." Ruth nodded and started making the drinks. Then she caught sight of the flecks of blood on Harry's shirt.

"What happened?" she asked, her fingers lightly touching him.

"I accidentally walked into the kitchen door," he said swiftly. "I'm fine."

"I knew you'd had too much whisky," she said with raised eyebrows. He smiled and kissed the top of her head, hands lingering on her waist as she poured the hot water from the kettle. In that moment Catherine realised that while watching them, this was more than a physical attraction. He truly cared for Ruth, she could see that. Catherine felt her hostility thawing quickly, especially when Ruth handed her a mug of tea. It had been quite a while since she'd had a proper English brew.


	29. Chapter 29

Ruth got undressed later feeling very let down. She had had a decent conversation with Catherine but things had got off to a very shaky start.

"Calm down," Harry said as he got in bed.

"She hates me," Ruth said.

"No she doesn't," Harry said. "Come on, get in bed." She thought about arguing but then decided it was where she'd most want to be anyway. He didn't speak until she was wrapped in his arms and he rested one hand on her stomach, just taking on a slightly more prominent curve than before. "Its more about me than you," Harry said. "I betrayed their mother so many times. I was not a good man."

"I don't believe that," she said and he gave her a gentle squeeze.

"Fine, I was patriotic, and I believed in fighting for my country and what I was doing was right," Harry said. "But I wasn't a good husband."

"We both know you made mistakes," Ruth said. It was pointless denying it. "It takes a real man to admit them though."

"I don't deserve you," he said quietly. "If you give her time, she'll like you."

"She flies back on Monday," Ruth said. "Is that enough time?"

"Well you do have a special effect on the Pearce's don't you?" She smiled and kissed him slowly. She jumped when his hands drifted suggestively downwards.

"Not going to happen," she said, wriggling away from him. He quirked an eyebrow that asked why louder than words ever could. "Because your daughter is in the house, sharing a bedroom wall with us. I'm sure its already entered her head that you're only with me for sex, I'd quite like to not resort to that stereotype. Plus you've been shot remember?"

"Its been quite a while since…" his hand moulded to her breasts and she only half heartedly moved away.

"I know," she said. She was also feeling the pleasant ache of abstinence. "But not tonight."

"Okay," he said. He kissed her hair and then settled down to sleep. "She'll like you, trust me."

"Mm," Ruth said, not at all convinced. However, she drifted off relatively quickly.

What she didn't know was that Catherine had been listening at the doorway, now feeling spectacularly guilty.

* * *

><p>"No please don't…" Ruth moaned in her sleep. Harry woke with a start and sighed. He hated it when she struggled in her sleep, but it had been a while since her nightmares had appeared. Occasionally he could calm her down when she was still sleeping, but sometimes he had no choice but to wake her. "I can't… Leave me alone!"<p>

"Ruth, you're safe," Harry said as his hand lightly stroked her hair. "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you."

"Won't stop!" she cried out. "That hurts, please stop it!"

"Ruth, calm down," he said firmly. "This isn't real."

"I can't. Please. Oh God!"

"Wake up," he said firmly as she kept tossing and turning. There was a knock on the bedroom door and Catherine appeared looking very concerned.

"Dad? What's wrong?"

"Ruth's having a nightmare," Harry said, still stroking Ruth's hair. "Don't worry. I'm sorry she woke you." Harry turned his attention back to Ruth who was still crying out. He slapped her face lightly and she came to with a jump, breathing heavily.

"You're safe," Harry said immediately. "Everything is okay." He held her waist very softly, not wanting to scare her. She nodded and then saw Catherine.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I wouldn't have woken you on purpose."

"Okay," Catherine said with half a smile. "Goodnight then." She shut the door, leaving Ruth to recover from her reoccurring nightmare.

"I'm sorry," she said to Harry. "Out of all the nights I could have moaned in my sleep. Sorry."

"Don't apologise," he said before kissing her forehead.

She sighed and shifted against him, placing his hand on the small of her back. He resisted for a second. "I trust you," she said simply. And in that moment he realised that it really was that simple.

* * *

><p>Ruth woke up at six and wondered if she was going to be sick. Then she decided she wasn't going to be but she needed to get up and eat something instead. Her hand lingered over Harry's chest before she threw her dressing gown on. She hurried downstairs but paused when she saw Catherine at the table. "Morning," Ruth said.<p>

"I woke up early," Catherine said with a smile. "Just nicked yesterdays paper, hope that's okay?"

"Yeah, course," Ruth said getting the bread out and putting it in the toaster.

"Do you want some?"

"No, I'm alright," Catherine said with a smile.

"Look I'm really sorry about last night," Ruth said. "I occasionally have nightmares, I'm sorry I woke you."

"It doesn't matter," Catherine said. "I went right back to sleep." Ruth nodded and liberally spread her toast with lashings of marmite. Catherine looked at her plate with distaste.

"It drives your father mad too," Ruth said. "He hates marmite."

"Mm," Catherine replied. "I didn't mean to take against you so quickly yesterday. Long flight."

"You can hate me," Ruth said. "I don't want you to obviously, but you can. Just because I'm with your father doesn't automatically give me your respect. It shouldn't."

"What do you see in him?" she asked quietly, genuinely wanting to know. "I mean I love my father, I do, but he's not the easiest man to live with."

"He's a man who has made mistakes," Ruth said. "I mean everyone does, but he admits it. He knows the things he's done wrong and he would never repeat it. He has honour and integrity. I know he'd always try to do the right thing. We met at work, you have to have a certain belief for this job. We are quite similar in that respect. Also he looks at me in a way I've never been looked at before. Plus his smile doesn't hurt."

Catherine laughed. "By the way there's coffee in the pot if you'd like some," she said. "But its decaf. I couldn't find the regular stuff."

"Oh," Ruth said, trying to think up an explanation very quickly that didn't involve her pregnancy. "We don't have any. I can't sleep unless its decaf and Harry doesn't drink coffee. Calls it American rubbish."

"Well it isn't Scotch is it?" Catherine said. Ruth smiled.

"How are things in Tel Aviv?" Ruth asked.

"You don't want to hear about that," Catherine said dismissively.

"I do," Ruth said sincerely. "Your fathers proud of you. I'd like to hear about your life in Israel."

Catherine nodded and expected Ruth's attention to wane relatively quickly. She was pleasantly surprised as she listened attentively, up until Harry came in the room about an hour later.

"Morning," he said, smiling at both the women in his life who had clearly been enjoying a conversation. He kissed Ruth's hair before sticking the kettle on. He hoped things would continue as peacefully as possible.


	30. Chapter 30

**This one is a lot happier than I think people were expecting, but I hope its enjoyed anyway.**

* * *

><p>They had shared a lovely weekend together, in spite of the hiccup at the beginning. On Sunday evening they were sitting in the garden, enjoying one of the first warm evenings of the year. It was a wonderful night. However Catherine suggested getting a bottle of wine which made Harry look at Ruth nervously.<p>

"We've got to tell you something," Harry said, holding Ruth's hand tightly.

"What?" Catherine said bluntly.

"I'm pregnant," Ruth said. Catherine's eyebrows flicked up but she didn't say anything. "We didn't want to tell you over the phone." Still nothing. "Can you say something?" Ruth pleaded.

"I'm not really surprised," Catherine said. They both stared at her. "No coffee in the house, you've not been drinking whenever dad has a whisky and you were throwing up earlier this morning. I may not have your knowledge on the classics Ruth, but I'm not stupid."

"We're not trying to replace you," Harry said, still squeezing Ruth's hand tightly.

"I know that dad," she said and Ruth felt relief that Catherine was smiling. "So I have a little sister on the way?"

"Or brother," Harry said. "Its still quite early."

"Congratulations," she said with a smile. She had taken this better than anticipated. "So, no wine for you then?"

"No," Ruth said. "Are you really okay with this?"

"Its not really a lot to do with me," Catherine said and she could see the sadness on her face.

"It is," Harry said. "Of course it is. You're an important member of this family. Just because you live in Israel, it doesn't change that." She smiled, a happy smile this time.

"Thank you," she said quietly. The silence that fell around them was not uncomfortable.

* * *

><p>The next morning Harry was driving Catherine to the airport, Ruth being at work and overseeing everything on the grid. "Why did you insist I come home dad?" Catherine asked. "You could have told me about the baby over the phone. I'd have been upset or angry, but I'd have got over it."<p>

"Yes, I wanted you to meet Ruth though," Harry said, concentrating as he turned right. "Its been long enough and you were thinking about coming back to the UK anyway."

"Yes but I was going to see Graham. I notice you didn't mention him over the weekend," Catherine said, just a hint of a question.

"He doesn't want to know me Catherine, and I don't blame him," Harry said. "I was such a critical father to both of you, and unlike you, he never forgave me. I know he's okay though. He's my son, and I do make sure he's safe."

"Looking into him?" Catherine said with a quirked eyebrow.

"Making sure he isn't using again," Harry said. "I wouldn't want that. And I know rehab was… difficult for him."

"He's doing well," Catherine said. "He's got a steady girlfriend now. She's blonde, beautiful so intelligent, far too good for him, but she keeps him on the straight and narrow."

"Thank you," Harry said. "I don't pry as a rule, but I do like to make sure he's okay."

"He doesn't hate you," Catherine said. "He just doesn't want to turn into you."

"That's flattering," Harry said sarcastically.

"The you that you were when you betrayed our mother for a life more exciting as a spy," Catherine said. "Anyway, you're avoiding the question. Why was it so important to meet Ruth this weekend?"

"I wanted you to know her," Harry said honestly. "What did you think? Really?"

"She's kinder than I thought she'd be," Catherine said. "And clever too. Not who I would have pictured you with, but in a good way. She's perfectly lovely."

"I'm glad you think that," Harry said.

"So when were you planning to propose?"

Harry nearly crashed into the car in front. "What do you mean?" he said in a quick voice that was as good as an admission.

"You've been with her for more than two years," Catherine said quietly. "And the sudden urge to get me to visit. I suspected so I did a little looking. There's a beautiful diamond ring in the false bottom of your bottom desk drawer. A ring with an inscription that makes it clear who its for."

"That drawer is locked and it has a four digit combination as well."

"I guess I really am your daughter," Catherine said with a laugh. Even Harry cracked a smile.

"I did want you to meet her, before I asked her," Harry admitted. "I don't want you to have a stepmother you'll hate."

"I don't hate her," Catherine said. "I quite like her actually. But if you're waiting for me to accept it, its not really my place."

"I care what you think," Harry said. "I wouldn't leave her, but if you had a problem with it, I would hold off. Until you could see how wonderful she is anyway," he added with a smile.

"You'd do that for me?" she asked surprised.

"Yes," Harry said. "I love her."

"I know," Catherine said. "Its clear, just in the way you look at her." Harry was silent as he parked the car in the airport. "Tell me when she says yes."

"You think she will?" Harry asked. He couldn't deny that the idea of asking Ruth to marry him was a terrifying one.

"Yes dad," Catherine said with patience, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "She will."

"Come back home more often," he said as he got her case from the boot of the car. "I miss you."

"Tell you what, I'll come home when the baby's born. Does that sound fair?" Catherine asked.

"Very," Harry said. He gave his daughter a long hug. "Have a safe flight."

"I'll call you when I land," Catherine said. Harry nodded and then sighed as his phone rang. "Go," she said. "I know you're needed."

"Bye dad." Catherine walked into the airport and out of sight as Harry got back in his car. He had a job to get back to after all.


	31. Chapter 31

**I might be pushing the rating with this chapter but I hope its okay staying at a T rating...**

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><p>"That was a good day," Ruth said that later that night, curled up on the sofa against Harry. They had caught a band of terrorists without even one life being lost, and prevented a bomb from being planted on the London eye as well for good measure. Ruth smiled as Harry took her feet in his lap and started massaging them. "Oh, that feels good," she said. Her feet started writhing as he hit all of her sensitive spots. That combined with the quiet murmurings and moaning she was doing was making him very aroused indeed. She sat up as she felt him and smiled, kissing him soft and slowly. His hands started wandering over her desirable figure and he drew back as fingers skimmed flesh. She nodded once with a smile and then it was like an unstoppable force.<p>

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><p>Harry ended up lying on the living room floor, Ruth's naked body draped over him. They had just discovered that there wasn't really enough room on the sofa. He reached for a blanket and covered them, stroking her hair softly. "I thought I was too old for escapades on the floor," Ruth said as her arms tightened around him.<p>

"What does that make me then?" he said with a smile. She didn't reply. "You're beautiful," he whispered.

"And you're biased," Ruth said. "After sex with me what are you supposed to say?"

"We really should get up to bed," he said, choosing not to reply to that.

"Can't move for a minute," she whispered.

"Will you go out to dinner with me on Friday?" Harry asked.

"Why?" she asked curious. "We haven't been out in ages. What makes Friday special?"

It was at times like this that Harry was annoyed by how much of perceptive woman she was. It would be much easier if she didn't question his motives. "Do I have to have a reason to take you out if I want to?"

"No, but usually there is," Ruth said. "Its not our anniversary, or either of our birthdays. So why do you want to take me out?" He could hardly say that he wanted a romantic setting to propose so he had no idea what to tell her. "Harry?" she asked in a timid voice. "What are you hiding from me?"

"Wait here," he said with a sigh, wondering how he had got in this awkward situation in the first place. She watched him go wondering what on earth was so desperate he had to leave her naked on the lounge floor. By the time he got back she was feeling distinctly abandoned. He got back under the blanket and kissed her thoroughly, making her feel slightly better.

"I wanted to do something on Friday, but you are too clever for your own good," Harry said.

"What are you talking about?" Ruth said, and the concern was clear on her face.

"Calm down," he said, knowing she was worrying. "I love you. I adore the fact that you're carrying our child. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I would love for you to marry me." He flipped open the box she hadn't seen and held a beautiful diamond ring for her. Ruth silently took the ring from the velvet box and looked at the beautiful silver band, the diamond glistening in the light. She noticed there was an engraving and she tried to read it in the dim light.

_Ruth, always yours, Harry x._

She had been silent as she looked at the ring. "You can say no," he said quietly, thinking that that was why she hadn't responded. He stroked her hair. "I don't want you to but you can."

"Of course I'm not going to say no," she said quietly, tearing her eyes away from the ring, looking at his hazel eyes sparkling in the light. "Yes, I'll marry you." He took the ring from her and slipped it on her finger where it fit perfectly. "Its beautiful," she said as the ring caught the light.

"You're beautiful," he said, holding her close under the blanket. He kissed her softly and then drew away.

"How long have you had the ring?" she asked, her head nestled into his chest.

"About three months," he admitted. "Working up the courage was something else entirely. I don't think I've ever been that nervous."

"The great Harry Pearce, put off by a proposal?" she asked with a smile.

"Look, I'm really too old to be doing this on floorboards," Harry said. "I would like to continue this conversation in our bed. Talking or not talking I really don't mind which." His suggestive smile clearly displayed what he had in mind. So she stood up, stark naked and let his eyes wander over her for a few moments. It had taken a long time for her to get confident enough in herself to do this, but the look in his eyes made her heart soar. After a few seconds she turned and went up the stairs, in no doubt at all that Harry would follow her.

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><p>The next morning Ruth sat behind her desk and switched her computer on when Jo's jaw dropped open. "Oh my God."<p>

"What?" Ruth asked, turning to the blonde.

"There is a massive diamond on your finger," Jo said. "Harry proposed did he?"

"Yes," Ruth said with a smile.

"Was it romantic?" Jo asked. She'd never seen the romantic side to her boss but had known from Ruth that he had his moments when he chose them.

"Yes and no," Ruth said. "He hadn't planned it to happen last night, he was trying to take me out to dinner. But it just happened that way."

"Well I'm glad," Jo said. "I hope I'm invited to the wedding?"

"Yes," Ruth said. "But it'll be small. I don't want a big fuss."

"You're getting married," Jo said. "You deserve a big fuss."

"I don't want it," Ruth said shaking her head. "I've already started to show a little, I don't want to be the sad picture of a pregnant bride when I marry him."

"You won't be," Jo said. "No one will see you like that."

"I'm not having a big wedding," Ruth said in a tone that didn't want to be argued with.

"Okay," Jo said. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Ruth replied, a massive smile over her face.


	32. Chapter 32

**A nice small chapter to finish everything off nicely. Massive thanks to al my reviewers and I hope you like the last part**

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><p><strong>Two Months Later<strong>

It was a small and intimate wedding ceremony. Ruth wore a simple cream dress that emphasised her growing stomach beautifully. The smile on both of their faces had never been bigger as they repeated their vows, holding hands tightly. When they shared their first kiss as husband and wife, their friends applauded loudly, sharing there joy. Their eyes were sparkling as they parted and neither could remember being happier.

That evening, Harry was halfway through unzipping the back of her dress when she gasped. "Oh my God!"

"What is it?" he asked, turning her around. Ruth smiled a half nervous grin and then took Harry's hand and placed it on her stomach. He waited and then felt a dull thump against his palm. Their baby was moving against him and he felt warmth run through him.

"That's amazing," Harry said quietly as the baby kept moving. "Is that... the first time?"

"Yes. For a kick anyway," she said. "I've felt a few flutters, but nothing like that."

"That is a wonderful wedding present," he said kissing her softly and tenderly. She wondered if it was possible to be happier than she was at this moment in time. Because personally she had never felt better.

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><p><strong>A year later<strong>

"I'm home," Harry called.

"Kitchen," came the response. Harry hung his coat up and then walked through, seeing their gorgeous blonde son in his high chair, watching Ruth with beautiful blue eyes.

"Hello handsome," Harry said, kissing the boys head lightly. He walked over to Ruth who was cooking something that smelled heavenly and wrapped his arms around her waist kissing her neck in greeting. "Mm, good evening."

"Hi," she said, and he could hear the smile in her voice. "How was the meeting with the Home Secretary?"

"Towers is a slimy, pompous, two faced…"

"Harry," she said warningly. She didn't want swearing in front of Joseph.

"Sorry," he said apologetically.

"I swear, his first full sentence is going to be "daddy hates Towers!""

"No it won't," Harry said with total confidence. "By the way Catherine called me today."

"How is she?" Ruth asked.

"Complaining that I haven't emailed her enough pictures of Joe recently," Harry said. "Other than that, she's fine."

"Good," Ruth said with a smile.

"Ga!" Joe said loudly. He didn't like being ignored. Harry turned to their son and tickled his wiggling feet, making the little boy laugh gorgeously. He reached for Ruth again and pressed a light kiss to her jaw which made her breath catch. She knew what that tiny kiss right there meant. It meant he wanted to sleep with her tonight. Her eyes were glowing with intent as she looked back at him.

"I guess Joe's going to bed early tonight," she said slightly breathlessly.

"If you like," he replied with a raised eyebrow. Ruth swallowed audibly as Harry chuckled. Then she put all of her concentration into not letting their dinner burn. Harry smiled broadly as she was clearly having trouble concentrating and felt amazed that he still had this effect on her after all these years. Harry then turned to Joseph who was gurgling to himself and he wondered what on earth he had done to be this lucky.

**THE END**


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